


A Heart's a Heavy Burden

by furyofthetimelords



Category: The Host - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, F/M, Organ Transplantation, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-31 14:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 38,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/furyofthetimelords/pseuds/furyofthetimelords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wanda's new heart saved her life, but she's haunted by unexplained dreams of another girl, another life. As Wanda digs deeper into the mystery of her dreams, she finds that it's all so much bigger than she ever imagined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Waking up had been painful, especially once Wanda became conscious of the ache in her chest.

“Are you alright sweetie?” the nurse said, stroking her hair in a strangely maternal gesture.

Wanda tried to speak, but only a raspy echo of words came out of her mouth.

“It’s okay, just nod, if you can,” the nurse said. “It will be a while before you can talk properly. You were under for a while. It’s natural that you’re going to take a while to recover.

Everything felt fuzzy and the ache in her chest throbbed uncomfortably. She wanted to sit up and move, but it felt like there was some kind of lost connection between her body and her brain.

“We’ll take you in for a chest x-ray soon. We’re just waiting for you to feel a little better. It’s quite a shock,” the nurse said. “But you will feel better; after all, it’s a good, strong heart you’ve got now.”

Wanda nodded, her head feeling heavy, but she did feel almost better. The pain in her chest was still there, but she could also feel her heartbeat, which made her smile. It was better than the pacemaker she’d had and so much more _alive_.

She closed her eyes for a moment, exalting in the feeling of being healthy again. She knew how lucky she was to have this chance at a transplant; that they’d found a match for her.

It was a true stroke of luck, something she’d remember for the rest of her life, however long that was. Wanda knew there were risks with this, but she was ready to take that chance. It was better than living with a ‘maybe until the spring’.

Her life had mostly been until this point one, long painful ‘maybe’ but now there was some kind of certainty to stand on, something she could _know_ rather that guess.

* * *

The first night, after her scans and check up and all sorts of other medical things she didn’t understand, Wanda dreamed.

_She walked down her usual street, watching out for empty houses. Tonight, she knew the lovely pair of seniors who forgot to lock their door, Mr and Mrs Jameson, were out somewhere and it gave her ample time to get what she needed._

_Tugging her wig nervously, she walked closer to the house looking as causal as possible. Checking the front window, she saw no one in and went around the back to open the door._

_Once again, it swung open quietly and she sought out the kitchen. Places like this always made her remember what she was missing, the comfort of a full cupboard and readily available foods; and not to mention a place to stay for good._

_She was about to grab an extra can of buttered corn when someone grabbed her. Her first instinct was to kick and scream, but her attacker had her pinned against the cupboard door._

_“Who the hell are you?” he asked. It was a guy, perhaps a few years older than her, looking at her with an expression that would have made her old, non-street-hardened self, cower._

_“Get off me,” she said. Time was running out. She had to get back home and maybe if she could just hit him once, there’d be time to make her getaway._

_“Tell me who you are,” he said. “Or I’ll call the cops.”_

_“Melanie,” she said curtly. “Now let me go.”_

_“Well, Melanie, why are you stealing”—he looked down at her stash—“food?”_

_Melanie didn’t want to answer him, because answers led to proper inquiries and that lead to back_ there _, a place she never wanted to see again._

_“Just let me go,_ please _,” she begged. It wasn’t real, but she hoped it’d be enough for him to relax just enough so she could really get away._

_“I just want to know why you’re stealing from my great aunt,” he said._

_She resisted the urge to swear._ Of course _there was going to be someone in the house on a night where she knew the owners weren’t there._

_“I’m hungry, so what?” she spat._

_He softened a little, but only in his expression. “Well, then sit down.”_

_His words shocked her. “You’re not calling the police?” she said, warily._

_“No,” he said. “I’m just going to get you something to eat.”_

Wanda woke up with a start. The dream had felt real, almost _too_ real, like she’d been there herself. In fact, she could almost feel the stranger’s grip on her now.

_Impossible_ , she told herself. _It was just a dream._

It didn’t change how real it felt though. In fact she almost didn’t feel like herself, not until she felt the heartbeat in her chest, reminding her of where and who she was.

“Are you okay sweetie?” the nurse asked. Wanda had forgotten she was there. There was always someone there at this stage.

She gave a small nod, satisfying the nurse. Besides, how could she tell anyone about that dream? No one had told her anything about strange life-like dreams.

Wanda wanted to sleep again, but she didn’t want another of those dreams. It felt too different, like she was suddenly someone else. The sensation unnerved her and thanks to all the medicine she was on, she felt pretty out of it most of the time, but this was worse.

Part of her wanted to call the nurse, but she had the feeling this wasn’t something a few more meds could fix, but still, she was tempted to see if she could get some kind of sleep-inducing drug, something to stop her from dreaming.

* * *

“How are you feeling?” the doctor asked, her pen poised over a notepad.

“Alright,” Wanda replied, noting the way the doctor scribbled down her response. “It’s taking some getting used to, though.”

“Have you had any side-effects to the medication?”

“Only what’s expected,” she replied, looking down at her arms. She’d noticed the changes, the strange panicky feelings, the weight, cramps and all the rest. The first few days had been hard, but she’d eventually been put on the right dosages.

“Good, but let me know if it’s getting serious. We need to be sure you’re okay,” the doctor said, scribbling on her notepad. Wanda nodded numbly. It was all about her now, all about these questions and a whole team of people making sure she was adjusting. It wasn’t what she was used to. Before, there weren’t that many people, just a few who monitored her condition, now there were all these people, day and night, watching her and _caring_.

However, despite all the talk about her physical condition, she’d told no one of these strangely vivid dreams and even emotions. Sometimes she’d catch herself longing for things that she’d never really experienced or done. Her usual television preferences had changed too. No longer did she feel like watching endless documentaries about earth, but rather more of the crime shows she used to avoid.

Not to mention the dreams, most of which contained the boy, who somehow had a name now: _Jared Howe_. She wasn’t sure where that came from or why, but still she found herself attached to him and even thinking about him, which always made her feel this ache in her chest, like something had been ripped out. She wanted to see him, to know he was real and _there_ , but she felt foolish to even think it. Jared Howe was just a dream person, someone she’d invented.

* * *

The days after Jared lost Melanie were hard, but as time had gone by, he felt it reduced to a dull ache in his chest, like part of him had been lost with her. He wished it hadn’t been like this, however futile.  But that was the way the world was, things happened.

She’d died so suddenly, ripped out of his life in that one moment. But the worst of it was there wasn’t even a body to mourn. No physical remains left.

Her body had been used for science, as most where these days in a rapidly changing world in dire need of organs. Nothing had been wasted, said the nurses when he’d asked. Her body was going to save a lot of lives.

Still, it made him angry. He knew it shouldn’t, but the bitterness of this reality lingered with him. He knew it was for the best, but he hated how it was and he knew how she’d left about it.

“They take everything from you,” she’d told him once. “I don’t want to die just another body.”

He didn’t really understand it at the time, but now he saw it all so clearly. It seemed everyone these days had a brand new heart, a brand new set of lungs to breathe with.  It was supposed to be fair, but what they didn’t tell you is where the organs came from, or how many there really were.

The truth was they were from the kids, the ‘leftover’ ones, the orphans like Melanie was. Not that anyone really knew that. Most people just assumed they were from people who’d just died, that they got lucky enough to find a match. What a lie it was, people always wanted to believe they got lucky, that the right organ match came along at the right time. But the truth was far from it, luck had nothing to do with it.

_Mel_ , he though, the ache making his chest constrict. How angry she would have been to know her fate. And to think she’d tried jumping out a window to avoid it!

They’d come for her one day, all smiles and sweet promises, but he saw the fear in her eyes and knew everything they said to be a lie. He couldn’t stop it and for that he’d always feel guilty about, but he had to do _something_.

Jared could only hope it would be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea has been rattling around in my head for a long time and after leaving the draft half-finished for far too long, I decided to just give it a go. The whole concept of cellular memory and the entire phenomenon is used here, but I took some liberties with it. I also did some research on heart transplants to keep Wanda's recovery as realistic as possible.


	2. Two

Jared took a sip of his lukewarm coffee, trying to force himself awake. He needed to be alert today of all days, finally meeting Jeb, the man Melanie talked about the way religious people spoke about their various deities. 

He wasn’t sure who exactly Jeb was, only that he was safety, the one thing Melanie needed most. And also the only thing Jared was never able to give her. He regretted not being able to, not knowing how to protect Melanie from the people who wanted to take her away.

“Jared Howe?” someone called out from beside him. He was a guy who looked a few years older than Jared, no more than 26. His dark hair contrasted starkly with the pale tone of his skin, but what struck Jared the most was the guy’s nose. It sad oddly crooked, as if it’d been broken a few times. 

“Who wants to know?” he asked, instantly defensive.

“No need to worry, name’s Kyle. Jeb sent me,” the guy said, holding out his hand.

Jared shook it carefully. “When can I meet him?” he felt a hint of annoyance, but at the same time he knew a man like Jeb would have to be cautious if he was anything like Melanie said he was.

“Just follow me, stay a little back, try not to make it obvious you’re following me, wait here a moment. I’ll be over near the station,” Kyle said and gestured towards it.

Jared sighed, but made no complaints. He nodded in confirmation and then began to wait, taking a huge gulp of the last of his coffee.

* * *

Following Kyle was harder than it looked. Jared followed the older guy through the station and through a few strange out of the way streets, placed he’d never seen before, despite having lived in this city his entire life. After nearly losing Kyle for the fifth time, Jared spotted him by the door to a warehouse and held back as Kyle opened a side door.

After a few minutes, he headed in, standing a little taller in his determination. Now he was finally going to be able to meet this Jeb, do the one thing Melanie always wanted to do. For a moment, a great sad ache formed in his chest. He wished Mel was here, standing beside him with a grin on her face. She’d be excited, so excited she’d probably be trying to contain the shout of joy he knew she’d want to make.

Jared opened the door carefully and stepped inside, into the darkness. He felt a thrill of excitement. Finally, here he was.

 “This way,” a voice said beside him, not Kyle’s, but someone else’s, feminine and sweet. A hand grabbed his and tugged him to the right, and he let the hand lead him through the darkness to another door, that opened into light.

Inside, stood a group of people gathered around a table covered in paper. In amongst it all, Jared saw maps covered with dots and crosses as well as files with pictures of people he’d never seen before. They all turned to look at him, standing a little less casually than before.

Looking for a familiar face, Jared spotted Kyle standing beside an older man with a weathered face and the kind of tan that could only be from farming. For a moment, Jared held his breath. There he was, Jeb, it had to be. This could only be him.

“Hello, Jared,” Jeb said, smiling. “I hear you knew my Melanie.”

“Your Melanie?” he asked, confused.   Who had this Jeb been to her?

“My niece,” he replied. 

"Oh," was all Jared could say, although it explained a lot. Mel had always been about family. She'd protected the secret of her younger brother fiercely, determined to keep him safe. He didn't know what happened Jamie after it all, but as far as he knew, Melaine had made sure he'd gotten to Jeb first, sending him ahead when things were looking like they were falling apart. Jamie had always been her number one priority. 

"It's unfortunate, what happened to her, but you know we're here to stop it. My Mel deserved better than that," the way Jeb said it, Jared knew he'd found the right place to go. Here was where he could fix everything. No more would Mel be just a painful memory, he could  _fight_ in her name, change the world for better. It was what she would have wanted.

"I know, which is why I'm here. I want to help," Jared said, the conviction feeling deeper with every moment. Here he could change things. 

Jeb smiled at him. "Always good to have another in, everyone helps around here. The only thing I ask of you is that you follow my orders. No matter what you think or whatever you've heard, I'm not here for violence. We're not going to let them do this anymore. We fight from the inside out."

Jared didn't quite like the idea of such a quite movement, but he wasn't going to just walk out because of it. If Jeb had a way that worked, he'd stick with it. 

"I'm in," he replied. "Just tell me what I need to do."

* * *

 The days in the hospital seemed to stretch on forever, an endless stream of infomercials and daytime TV, the extent of Wanda's thrilling entertainment. By the third day, she'd seen the ads for almost every strangely useful kitchen appliance and fad workout machines to last her a lifetime. The TV became white noise after a while, something to fill the strangely empty hours of the day, punctuated by the frequent visits from the nurse. 

However, the fourth day bought something different: a new nurse. He was a tall, young attractive guy with bright blue eyes and dark hair. Wanda only bothered to notice because of how strangely friendly he was as he checked everything was okay. The name on the tag that hung around his heck read IAN O'SHEA. Wanda decided right then she rather liked the name.

"You feeling anything unusual? Fever, shortness of breath, fatigue? No? Well any urine problems or weight gain?" Wanda shook her head. So far, she felt fine, her body felt whole now, the solid weight of the heart beating in her chest still thrilled her some. 

"I feel perfectly fine," she told the nurse, unable to stop herself from beaming. It just felt so right with this heart in her chest, like finally this was everything she was supposed to be. 

"That's excellent to hear," Ian said with a warm smile, like he was personally happy to hear it. He had a nice smile, something that lit up his face entirely. This strangely perfect ernestness only improved her mood. 

"I'll see you later then?" she asked hopefully. 

"Of course," he said, smile still on his face. "Now, time for you medication for the day."

Wanda looked away, pointedly ignoring the needle he was sticking into the IV tube. 

"Another nurse will be in later to help you with your rehab, soon you'll be up and running, for real. No more lying around."

The idea had been in her head ever since she'd gotten word her new heart was waiting for her and now to hear it from someone else suddenly made it much more than a fantasy. She wanted to  _run_ , to finally not worry about collapsing or weakness. 

"Goodbye then," she said as he walked out of the room, suddenly feeling a lot more happy about her hospital time. 

* * *

Jared felt most at home among the files, countless stacks of paper dedicated to tracking down every part of Melanie and all those like her. The kids that ran away into the night never to be seen again, the boy who didn't make it home and the countless others who vanished without a trace. 

How Jeb had managed to pull together such an extensive system amazed Jared, the way everything was so organised and the fact that there was so much. 

"Information is easy to find, you just need to know where to look," Jeb had told him when Jared asked about it all. It was true, the information was everywhere, in the small town articles and the strangely scant police reports, all the things that weren't written on the page told better stories than what was on there, the reality of who these people were. They deserved justice, to have the real truth be told for everyone to hear. 

The best part of it was the quietness of it all, most people didn't venture into the stacks and stacks of information, they just skimmed around the edges, but Jared wanted to know everything, how they really caught her, what happened to the parts of the body that was Melanie’s. A curious file on HEART #04343BE3493M caught his eye, a simple document confirming its removal from the "host" and it's preparation for transplantation. 

The host ID matched that of Melanie’s and for a small moment, he felt the excitement of the discovery, a quick thrill at being one step closer to more answers. However when he looked at the dates of the transplant, he realised it was already in the body of some other person. A clueless rich person no doubt, someone who had no idea of the history of this heart, no idea it belonged to a girl who didn't want to give it up. 

Anger suddenly took over, a fresh wave of heat making his blood boil and the grief well up anew. He hated it, hated the people who'd taken Melanie away from her family, from her life all for some stupid transplant to someone who didn't know what they'd been given. For a moment, he wanted to destroy everything and burn it all, but that faded and he sunk to the floor, trying not to cry. 


	3. three

_Every night, their routine was the same. Melanie would wait until dark and creepy up to his window, knocking on it once and then waiting for that minute before Jared opened the window._

" _You could come around during the day," was always the first thing he said to her and every night she responded with the same, short, sharp shake of her head:_ no.  _There was no way she'd risk that, let someone find her out in the daylight, where there was nowhere to run. At least at night she could blend into the shadows._

_Melanie liked to be careful, especially since she had Jamie to think about. He was more important than anything else, even if it meant doing something that didn't make sense to someone else. Besides, it wasn't like Jared understood what was going on; he was just a guy who was helping her out._

" _I got you some more corn," he said with a smile, handing her a small bag of groceries. Melanie took them gratefully. This was so much better than the stealing; this wasn't so illegal and came with the smile of a friendly face._

" _Thanks," she said and took the bag, standing there for a moment._

" _Do you want to stay a while?" Jared asked, and like every night, she said yes._

Wanda woke up with a start, unable to remember how or why she'd ended up in a hospital bed. For a moment, she thought  _they_ had caught her, that any moment from now she'd be harvested. Or maybe she already had.

A moment later, it all came back to her. She was Wanda, twenty years old and she'd just had a heart transplant. She was just recovering in hospital.

 _You're Wanda_ , she told herself over and over again, trying to forget how real the dream felt, how much she'd felt like she was Melanie, that other phantom girl in her dreams. Once again, she wondered what was happening. Why was she so scared of being 'harvested'? What was that? Who was Melanie?

 _Don't think about it_ , she told herself. None of it was real, not even the boy with the kind, easy smile. Her heart ached as she thought of this Jared, this boy who'd been so kind to Melanie and  _being_  Melanie, feeling that rush of emotion when around him. For a wild moment, she hoped he was real, a person she could find and figure out what was going on. However, all sense dictated that it wasn't real, that it was just a dream.

So she did the only thing she wanted to do: bury it.

* * *

 

The cute nurse came back again, much to Wanda's surprise. She'd assumed he was a one-off guy, despite his assurance he'd see her later.

"Hello, Wanda," he said cheerily. "How are you feeling today?"

"I'm good," she replied. And she was, really. Starting her rehab was great, being able to  _do_  something, granted it was slow and barely any progress was made, but it was something to work for.

"That's nice to hear. No reactions to the medicines?" Ian asked gently.

"It's all working out," she said with a smile. "I've started my rehab."

"Good to hear you're moving along. It shouldn't be too much longer before you're out of here," Ian told her.

"It might take a little longer than that," she said, thinking about her weak progress in the rehabilitation centre. The physical therapist there had been nice enough, but Wanda still didn't feel okay.

"You know it's not like the old days. You'll be out of here soon. The first few days are slow, but you'll be better soon."

"I hope so," she told him. Wanda was almost too ready to start living, to get back and not feel so weak. Just thinking about being able to spend a whole  _day_  without even the slightest problem and all the while doing things was a heady thought.

"I'll look forward to seeing you finally leave. I hear you had it bad before."

"It wasn't good, no. But I'm better now," she said, smile widening. Science was amazing like that, the leaps and bounds made with the Soul Institute's team of amazing scientists. It was the reason she was here now. A condition like she had would've meant a short, sad life, but she was free of that now. A real, beating heart in her chest meant freedom and that was all she'd ever wanted. There was no 'maybe' attached to her life, not anymore.

"A success story is always good," he said pleasantly enough, but Wanda had to pause for a moment and wonder if there was any bitterness there, although she couldn't fathom why. Ian had always been such a pleasant nurse, it almost seemed like meanness wouldn't suit him. He was just too kind for that.

An awkward pause came over the conversation and Wanda switched on the TV, trying to get caught up in the cop procedural she'd been following the past few days. It was like watching a whole other world unfold, seeing the savagery of the criminals and relentless pursuit the police made. How could she have ever sat through all those boring nature documentaries? It didn't make sense anymore; TV just wasn't fun unless there was gunfire and cops.

"You like that kind of thing?" Ian asked as soon as an ad break came on.

"I didn't before now, but I've just had so much time alone, it's grown on me," she replied.

"I do like a good cop drama myself," Ian said. "This is  _Do Not Cross_ , isn't it?"

"Yep, I've been catching up, although I must say I don't understand Detective Harris's motive."

"He just wants to get his sister back, he thought he'd lost her for good, and then the video showed up."

"I see, but it's been years since then, can't he let go?"

"He doesn't want to," Ian replied. "Humans are irrational like that."

Wanda nodded, although she really didn't get it. What could drive a person like that to be so relentless in a search for someone surely dead? She couldn't see any logic there.

"I guess," she replied. "I have a lot to learn about this stuff."

"That you do," Ian said.

* * *

 

_Melanie's heart beat faster as she watched Detective Harris race across the screen, his determined stride matched with heart-pounding music. He moved along so fast she had to wonder if the film was sped up._

_Just as he was about to round the corner to find the criminal that knew about the video of his sister, the image faded out and the title card came up. Moments later an obnoxiously loud ad for a 'miracle' diet pill came on._

_Melanie leaned back on the couch and sighed in frustration._

" _Hey," someone suddenly said from beside her and she flinched, only to relax when she saw it was just Jared._

" _Hi," she replied with a smile._

" _What are you doing here so late?" Jared asked._

" _I just wanted to watch something. Sorry, I should've told you."_

" _It's alright," he said. Thankfully, he didn't ask how she got in because that was so not a question she wanted to answer. That would mean talking about Jamie._

"Do Not Cross?"  _Jared asked, picking up the TV guide off the side table._

" _It's good," she said._

" _I wouldn't have picked you for the type."_

" _I might not like real police, but I can admire the fictional ones. Everything is easy for them, all so black and white," she said with a sigh. Before this whole mess, she'd wanted to be a cop herself, uphold the law and protect people. But now she felt almost glad she didn't have the chance, after the way the police had treated her before, she was glad to not have any part of it._

_Fictional ones, however, were everything her child-self wanted the cops to be: bold, brave and heroic. Everything they weren't in real life._

" _I can get that," Jared replied and sat beside her._

* * *

 

Wanda woke from her dream with a start, her heart hammering in her chest. For a moment she worried something had gone awfully wrong with her, but after a moment when she came to herself, she was fine.

"You're  _Wanda_ ," she whispered to herself, trying to firmly plant her mind in the moment, to forget whatever the dream was. It was so vivid, which made it hard to shake.

Maybe there was something wrong with her, dreaming about the same two people so often in dreams so painfully vivid she almost didn't remember herself. Wanda wanted to cry, but she held back the tears. None of that would be of any use to her.

Since sleep was a no-go zone, she turned on the TV, a rerun of  _Do Not Cross_  playing and she smiled, comforted by the narrative.

* * *

Jared dug deep into the files he'd found, searching for every single scrap of information he'd found on Melanie. He felt more confident that before, especially after the breakthrough of finding the file on her heart.

He didn't tell anyone what he'd found, not yet, especially since he figured Jeb already knew, but he wanted to find more, to pick every scrap he could and find where those precious parts of Melanie went. He knew there probably wasn't any way to get her back, not really, but finding out what happened, just so he could do Melanie justice, to prove once and for all what was really going on.

"None of this is complete, just so you know," Jed said, surprising Jared.

"What?"

"I've only been able to find pieces. My network may be big, but not that good."

"What can we do?" Jared asked.

"We fight back, however we can. I have people inside, people who get me this stuff."

Jeb sat down beside Jared. "I hope you're doing okay."

"I'm fine."

Jeb nodded, although he didn't seem to believe him. "I know you cared for her, she'd have been happy you found me."

"She was looking for you," Jared said, and suddenly the anger welled anew. "She was looking for you and you let them get her."

"I didn't let that happen. I hoped she was okay, but ever since I went underground, I wasn't able to keep track of her. I didn't know she'd get into the trouble she did, especially with her brother."

"Is he here?" Jared asked, realising he'd forgotten to ask before now.

"Not here, with my sister, she's looking after the boy," Jeb replied. "This isn't the place for a boy like him."

"Can I see him sometime? Melanie talked about him a lot," he said, only half lying. Melanie never said much about Jamie, even after she'd confessed he existed. At first it had come as a shock and it made sense why she still looked so skinny even after he helped feed her. She did everything to protect him, but ultimately he never got the chance.

"I'm sure I can arrange it. The boy would like you," Jeb replied. "Anyway, I'll leave you to it. Maybe you'll see something my old eyes missed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this has taken so long to write up. I've been extremely bust since everything's gotten back into work-mode. I do promise I'll try and update more. I've got a plan for the fic, so far I've got up to five chapters planned ahead (but that doesn't mean I'm stopping there. I'm hoping to get aroudn twenty or so chapters total) with a general end in sight, so here's hoping I can get this done soon enough.


	4. Four

 

More often than not, Jared found himself buried under a pile of papers, obsessively looking over every detail of every piece of paper he could find. All he wanted was to find _something_ , a name, a face, just a detail he could use to find whatever they did with Melanie or her heart.

He wondered what kind of person had her heart now. Was it some old lady with far more wealth than she knew what to do with or fat businessman on his third heart? Maybe it went to a little girl who didn’t have long, maybe Mel had saved a life.

Jared wanted to know, wanted to be sure of what happened. He owed it to Melanie to be able to tell her story, to know exactly what happened in to her body.

“You’re going to turn into nothing if you keep sittin’ there,” Jeb commented on one day, Jared wasn’t sure how long it had been exactly. “Eat something.”

“I’m busy,” Jared replied. He didn’t feel hungry, or anything like it. He just wanted to find information on Melanie. If he distracted himself, he’d forget. Jared didn’t want to forget anything. He had to keep looking. That was what he was supposed to do. The answers were in sight, they had to be.

“No, son, you’re going to work yourself to death and there where would we be? You’d be no use to anyone in your condition. Come on, I’ve got some casserole. Besides, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

“Who?”

 “Someone you might find useful,” Jeb replied enigmatically. “You two can talk over lunch.”

“Fine,” Jared relented. He was curious about this, maybe this person knew more about Mel.

“Knew you’d see it my way,” Jeb said cheerfully. “So come on now, before the food gets cold.”

* * *

 Ian sighed as he finally made his way out of the hospital, the claustrophobic feeling wearing off with every step away from the building. He hated the smell in there, the antiseptic spays and faux flower smell that permeated everything. It was so artificial and cloying he wondered how anyone managed to cope with it all day every day. It was suffocating enough being here for this amount of time.

The patients themselves were always nice, although it was hard to truly feel for their stories of ‘miracle’ donors when he knew the truth. Thanks to these ‘miracles’ almost everyone had a new organ or two these days—a set of lungs here, a heart there. They thought it was just a clever influx of donors thanks to the Host Program, although the truth behind it all was so much worse.

Ian hated it all, but he couldn’t hate these people. They were innocents in this mess. They had no idea of the truth of it all, why there were so many miracles to be had these days. The worst to face, however, were the ones who should have been dead—those who had hearts with a countdown, lungs that didn’t work like lungs should or a liver that refused to be fine. Ian hated being around them, that reminder of the good that had happened to these people who had no idea of the cost. They thought it was luck, pure and simple. He couldn’t blame them for it, but that didn’t mean it was easy to be around them.

The girl in room 205, Wanda Reyes, the one who by all rights would’ve been dead before the end of winter, was one of the hardest to face. He’d read her chart in his visits there, as well as heard the doctors talk about her heart. How even they weren’t sure she was going to survive what she had. By all right, she was something of a miracle. Ian did his best not to think about why she had survived, about how that heart got to her. She was a sweet girl and sometimes Ian even caught himself forgetting about why she was still alive. It wasn’t something he was comfortable with, that forgetting, but he didn’t stop visiting her.

Suddenly, his phone rang, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Hello?” he answered on the first ring.

“Ian,” Jeb’s familiar voice said. “There’s someone I think would benefit from meeting you. Very interested in the kind of thing you do. I assume you have time?”

“Sure, where should we meet?”

“The usual,” Jeb replied. “It’s nice over there.”

Ian nodded along with the statement, catching the double meaning in Jeb’s words. “I’ll be there soon.”

“Good, I’ve got casserole,” Jeb replied and hung up with a quick goodbye.

* * *

Jared wasn’t sure what kind of person Jeb expected him to meet, but he sure as hell wasn’t expecting a nurse. But Jeb met the guy with a warm smile and shook his hand firmly, like he was greeting an old friend.

“Ian, this is Jared Howe,” Jeb said by way of introduction. “Jared, Ian O’Shea, one of my finest.”

Jared wondered for a moment how Ian got to be like that. What skill did he possess that made him so valuable? He didn’t look like much, but maybe that was the point. Maybe he was some kind of computer genius or master thief.

“Good to meet you,” Ian said pleasantly, holding out a hand for Jared to shake, who shook it after a long moment. The three sat down at the carefully set table, three bowls of casserole laid out on the table. It struck Jared as almost too normal.

“So what do you do?” Jared asked, cutting right to the point. He didn’t see the point in small talk. They’d said hello already and he just wanted to get whatever info this guy had.

“I’m a nurse.”

“You look pretty damn young for a nurse,” Jared replied. “So what do you really do?”

“I take care of sick people. And keep an eye on things for Jeb, a few files and all that.”

“Do you know much about transplants?”

“Probably even more than you do,” Ian replied.

“Have you heard of Heart #04343BE3493M?” Jared replied, running the ID number off from memory. He knew it could be a long shot, but maybe it was enough. Maybe Ian actually knew something.

Ian swallowed his food and thought for a moment. “I think so. It seems familiar.”

“Did you know who it got transplanted to?” Jared asked. He’d looked over every single document Jeb had, along with that one precious document about Melanie’s heart. It hadn’t given away who it was given to, only that it was ready for its transplant.

“No, but I’m sure I can find out,” Ian replied. “There haven’t been many heart transplants recently, so it might be easy to find. I’m looking after a few hearts.”

“Hearts?”

“People who had heart transplants.”

“Well this heart belonged to a girl, she was nineteen, and it can’t have been that long ago.”

“I do know someone young enough to have a heart like that.”

Jared looked over at Jeb hopefully. Maybe this was the answer he’d been looking for.

“It could be Mel’s,” Jeb said evenly.

“Did I miss something here?” Ian asked, looking at Jeb seriously.

“My niece was a runaway,” Jeb explained. “Vanished into thin air a while back and Jared here found her.”

Jared was silent for a moment. He knew Jeb had some idea Melanie was a runaway, but how much did this old man know? Could he have stopped all this from happening?

 _No, no one could have stopped it. They were looking for her_ , Jared told himself. What happened to Melanie was awful and he couldn’t try to blame Jeb for what happened. He wasn’t the one to be fighting.

Ian looked a little green. “You think this was her heart?”

“I think it’s likely,” Jeb replied, ever cautious. Jared wanted to hope that maybe it was Melanie’s. Maybe he’d get answers then.

“But even if it’s not, we could use someone like her on our side,” Jared pressed. “I mean as soon as she’s fine enough, we should get her out.”

“I’m not about kidnapping, Jared,” Jeb warned.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Ian replied. “Security there is tight, besides it’s not your Melanie there, just a girl. She’s not worth anything to you.”

“Well then just keep an eye on her anyway,” Jared replied. “I just want to know what sort of person got her heart.”

“I guess I can do that,” Ian said to Jared and then turned to Jeb. “I’ll look for any files you want me too on her. I think I can get you answers about what happened with the rest of Melanie.”

Jeb nodded. “Do what you can.”

* * *

The hospital routine was what made Ian’s job so easy. People were always so reliably everywhere they needed to be he practically had the place to himself. Besides, he was young enough that people rarely cared about what he was doing, just assumed he was sent on some run by another doctor. In this way, he didn’t mind being one of the youngest people there.

If it meant he could get the job done, he didn’t care that people assumed he was some poor intern still hoping for his medical degree. More often than not, he wanted to snap at those people and show them exactly how intelligent he was, but he knew he had an image to uphold. Better to let them underestimate him than look too closely.

Normally he didn’t feel too many qualms about his job. He could get everything done without a hitch, although his promise to find the information on Wanda weighed on him. Ian didn’t quite understand it, but he felt like looking at her records would be a betrayal. But he tried to push it aside. His personal feelings didn’t matter here, besides, Jeb and Jared deserved to know what happened to Melanie.

Ian didn’t know what they’d do with this information, although he trusted Jeb to use it wisely. Jared, he wasn’t so sure about. From what he could gather from their lunchtime conversation, Jared had really cared for Melanie, loved her even. And in Ian’s experience, love made people do stupid things.

As Ian scanned through Wanda’s files, he saw the ID number Jared had mentioned before. His heart caught in his throat for a moment. It was almost too unreal. Out of all the people that had to receive Melanie’s heart, it was this girl. He wanted to laugh at the strangeness of it all.

Carefully copying the files, Ian walked out of the room, trying not to think too much about Wanda herself and the life that’d been given up so she could live.

* * *

  _The night air was unexpectedly cold when she left the house. Shivering, Melanie pulled her brother closer, trying to protect him some. She regretted not bringing better clothes, but it was all she had with her. And there was no way in hell she was going back_ there _._

_“Mel, where are we going?” Jamie asked. She hadn’t told him much about her plan, mostly because there wasn’t much of one. She’d gotten some cash together and a few names of homeless shelters far, far away from here if it came to that, but not much beyond that, except for the vain hope that maybe, just maybe her uncle Jeb was still out there somewhere._

_“Away from here, to uncle Jeb,” she told Jamie. Maybe her plan was awful, but it was something and that was sure as hell better than nothing. She didn’t mind doing what she had to if it came down to it. If it meant she had to steal, then so be it. There was no way she was going back there._

_“Will it take long?” Jamie asked with his trusting eyes fixed on her. Melanie wanted to cry looking at him. He was so trusting and still so innocent despite everything. She had to protect him._

_“Maybe, but we’ll get there, I promise,” she told him firmly._

_“Hey!” someone called out in the dark, making Mel freeze with fear._

_“Run,” she whispered to Jamie and they took off, sprinting as fast as they could. Melanie held Jamie’s hand the whole way, determined not to let go._

_“Keep going,” she whispered, mostly to herself. She hadn’t even gotten out of the grounds yet and there was no way she was going to let herself be taken. Not now, not when she was so close to freedom._

Wanda woke up with her heart racing. There was a scream lodged somewhere in her throat and for a second she was convinced they’d caught her. _They’ve found me they’ve found me they’vefoundmetheyvefoundmetheyfoundme,_ she thought, her mind racing.

 _No,_ she told herself resolutely. “I’m Wanda,” she said out loud, forcing herself back from the dream. Her heart was still racing, the fear making her buzz with adrenaline.

“Are you okay? The monitor was going crazy,” a voice said from beside her. Wanda looked to her side, seeing Ian O’Shea standing right there, looking worried.

“I—I’m fine. It was just a bad dream,” she said, brushing it off. Wanda wasn’t entirely sure what to say about this,

“Are you sure? I think we might need to run some tests, just to make sure everything is okay.”

“I am; I just gave myself a fright.”

“I can give you something for you sleep,” Ian replied. “Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe.”

“Okay, buzz if you need anything,” Ian said with a kind smile before leaving the room.

Wanda nodded and then lay back on her bed, her cheeks bright red from blushing. She didn’t want to admit it to herself, but Ian was growing on her. He was sweet enough and his daily visits were always something she looked forward too. But then there was Jared—Impossible, completely unreal Jared.

The guy in her dreams couldn’t possibly be real, but there was some part of her that had fallen for him all the same. Wanda was captivated by Jared, someone who’d be so kind when he could’ve just turned her out on the street.

Not you, he likes Mel, she told herself. The girl in her dreams was nothing like he and Jared loved Melanie, not Wanda who was just another ordinary girl. Melanie was something like extraordinary, doing what she did for Jamie. But even so, she still felt attached to Jared. She didn’t understand any of it, how could she even be falling for a guy she’d made up?

 _Just a dream_ , she told herself. It didn’t matter it was freakishly reoccurring, but it was still unreal. She had better things to think about.

* * *

 “So, Wanda, how are you feeling after last night?” Dr Greene asked her.

Wanda looked down, tracing the pattern on the couch. She still felt an echo of that fear and it had bothered her all night.

“I hear you had a panic attack,” Dr Greene pressed on. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

“I—I had a bad dream, like I was someone else,” she confessed. “It just felt a little too real.”

The doctor was silent for a long moment and Wanda began to regret saying even that much. “Was it just the one dream?”

“That’s the first time it’s happened. I’m sure it was just a one-off,” she lied. Wanda really didn’t want to say anymore. She was supposed to leave in a few days and saying anything that might keep her here any longer than that would have been unbearable. There was no way they were going to make her stay. She couldn’t stay trapped any longer.

“I hope it is. You gave us all quite a scare.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“You don’t have to apologise, Wanda. So, what was the dream about?” The doctor looked at her expectantly, a tablet in hand, ready to record what she said.

“I—I think I was running from someone. It’s all a little blurry,” she lied. Truthfully, Wanda could remember every detail, right down to the feel of Jamie’s hand in hers.

Dr Greene gave Wanda another of those long, pregnant pauses. She wondered what was going on in the doctor’s head. Maybe she’d figured out Wanda’s lie and was going to take her away and scan her brain. Panic started to build up in her chest and she did her best to stop it. There was no time for fear now. She had to convince them she was okay. Then she could get the hell out of here and everything would be fine.

“Did anything bad happen in the dream?”

“No—I mean it was just a feeling, I think,” Wanda replied, remembering the way Melanie’s fear had felt made her skin crawl. It was a feeling she hoped she’d never have to really experience. It was awful.

“Well, we can probably organise some tests later, just so we can be sure there’s nothing wrong,” Dr Greene said calmly.

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Wanda said. “I mean, I feel fine now.”

“It could be something we missed, although I don’t think that’s likely. You’ve responded well so far.”

Wanda nodded along; she desperately hoped the doctor would just talk herself out of doing anything. She had to get out of here on time; there was no way she could stand anymore of this waiting.

“Yeah, I mean it’s all been fine. If anything else happens, then I guess we should have another test. ”

“Okay, but I do want to add some sleeping pills to your medication. Don’t worry; they’ll be fine with your other medications. This one’s even available at a pharmacy.”

“I think I’ll be fine without it.” Wanda didn’t trust the idea. If she took them would they take away her dreams? As much confusion as they’d caused, Wanda didn’t want to let go of them.

“If you’re sure,” Dr Greene replied.

“I am,” Wanda said firmly. “I should get going. I need to see Dr Hill about my physical therapy.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Wanda,” the doctor replied as Wanda walked out of the room, her new heart beating rapidly in her chest.

* * *

 Dr Greene didn’t want to make the call. It was impossible, she’d told herself so many times before, but that didn’t matter. Her bosses would want to know this.

“Hello?” the smooth, calm voice on the other end said.

“I think it’s happening,” Dr Greene said, getting right to the point. “The patient hasn’t said much, but from what I’ve observed, it’s been happening a lot.”

“Don’t worry; we’ll sort it all out. The patient’s name?”

“Wanda. Wanda Reyes,” Dr Greene said, wondering if she was making a huge mistake.

“Your information is appreciated. We’ll send in an observation team.”

“Are you sure? She’s due to leave the hospital soon.”

“We’ll take care of everything,” the voice replied smoothly and Dr Greene began to wonder if she really was talking to another human being. Of all the things the Soul Institute had done, she wouldn’t be surprised if artificial intelligence was among them.

“Will she be hurt?”

“The patient will be taken care of,” the voice said, still in that same perfectly calm tone. “You don’t need to worry.”

“If you say so,” Dr Greene said, although she wasn’t entirely convinced. “I’ll call if anything changes.”

“Your information is appreciated,” the voice replied and Dr Greene hung up, hoping she hadn’t suddenly made a huge mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hew that was a long chapter. Anyway, I have taken a few liberties with medical stuff in this fic, mostly for the sake of quickening the plot, also it's a slightly futuristic sci-fi fic. Also fun fact this was actually originally going to be a lot less dystopian and more of a fluffy, kinda tragic story but then I kind of started writing Jared's POV for the first chapter and then this idea was born....whoops.


	5. Five

Wanda was so close to her release she was counting down the hours. Soon, so soon she’d be free to do. Her physical therapy was going on well, even if she’d still been advised to do more resting that actual movement. It was better than being too weak to even get out of bed. Anything was better than _that_.

But despite her excitement for going out, part of her wanted to stay, selfishly, just so she could spend a little more time around Ian. It was a sad realisation when the euphoria of being told she could leave soon wore off and the reality hit in. Wanda would truly miss being able to see Ian all the time, to have him come in and check up on her, that nice smile on his face.

So when he came in during that morning, Wanda felt almost sad to see him, knowing this was probably one of the last times she’d ever see him.

“You excited to leave?” he asked her, attaching a new IV bag to her pole. This time it was a different colour to the rest of the bags she’d had. This one was a vivid blue, not clear.

“Yeah, I am. That’s new,” she commented.

“It’s a sort of ‘final days’ treatment, just to boost your immune system a little, but not too much. We don’t want your heart to be rejected.”

“That never happens anymore.”

“Because we do this,” he replied. “It was developed a few years back so no one would have to take as much anti-rejection medication.”

“You know a lot about this,” Wanda stated. Sure, she’d been told about every step of the procedure countless times, but they never told her too much about it, only that it worked.

“I’m a nurse, it’s my job to know,” he replied and moved to check her heart monitor.

Wanda considered it for a second before asking. “…Would you know if the dreams will stop?”

Ian looked up sharply. “Dreams?”

“Yeah…I mean it’s weird, but I’ve been having these dreams about being someone else. I know it sounds crazy, but in them I don’t feel like me. I feel like some other girl.”

Ian frowned a little. “Do you want to talk about them?”

Wanda nodded and began. “In them, I’m this other girl, Melanie. It’s not even like I’m dreaming of some better life, though. In them, Melanie is homeless and she’s doing all she can to protect her little brother. And for a second after every dream, I wake up thinking I _am_ her.”

* * *

 

For a second, Ian sat there in disbelief, unable to believe what he was hearing. How was it possible she could remember Melanie’s life? Surely, that was impossible.

But then another thought struck him. What if Jared found out? Ian knew that would be a bad idea. Greif, he’d seen, could do crazy things to a person and he didn’t want Jared to do that. Especially when someone as innocent was Wanda was going to get hurt because of it.

“I—I’m sorry, I know it sounds crazy,” Wanda babbled on, breaking Ian away from his train of thought.

“No, I just haven’t heard of it before. I mean there are people who change after surgeries like this. Develop different tastes and the like.”

Wanda leaned back, looking a little relieved. “Thanks. You’re the first person I’ve really told. I mean I sort of told my doctor, but I guess it’s just a relief to tell someone.”

“It’s alright,” he replied, feeling oddly happy at Wanda’s openness. He only wished he could do the same, but that would mean exposing his cover, and there was no way he’d risk the entire mission to do that. Wanda might have been a sweet girl, but the risk of telling her wasn’t something he wanted to do.

Ian wondered how much she knew, if anything. _She will though, if the dreams continue_ , he thought. Maybe she’d learn the truth all on her own. It could be a good thing, he reasoned, although he’d plainly heard the discomfort in her voice when she mentioned waking up without much sense of who she was.

But as much as he wanted her to understand the truth, he didn’t want to her feel awful because of it. It wasn’t something he’d taken lightly when he found out. In fact he’d refused to believe it until Jeb had shown him. The memories of that trip the Soul Institute still made it hard to sleep on at night. Ian had felt so terrible for being so blind, thinking that the Soul Institute was doing good and all these organs came without a terrible cost.

He’d seen his mother get a new set of lungs before he knew the truth. Before he found out they’d come from a kid who was just trying to escape from a bad home. That was the worst part, the fact that one life was traded for another, a life the Soul Institute had deemed not worth living. It made him angry and he wanted to protect Wanda from that truth, almost as much as he wanted her to know.

“I think I’m going to miss this hospital a little,” Wanda said suddenly.

“I thought you’d be eager to escape.”

“It’s a little boring yes, but I don’t mind it too much,” she said. “I guess I’ve gotten used to it.”

“This place isn’t as boring as you think,” Ian replied, thinking of some of the more chaotic days he’d spent inside this place.

“For you, maybe. I just sit around and watch daytime TV.”

Ian smiled. “I see your point. Anyway, I should get going. I’ll see you later, before you get discharged.”

“Bye,” Wanda replied and Ian walked out, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his gut.

There was just something off about this entire situation. Wanda remembering Melanie like that wasn’t supposed to happen. People were supposed to get new cravings or musical preferences, not memories. At least Wanda thought they were only dreams, that she didn’t have any idea of the truth.

Ian knew he should tell Jeb about this, but he wasn’t so sure if it would be a good thing. The old man had been through enough with the loss of his niece and everything else; it didn’t feel right to give him any false hope. And Jeb might even mention it to Jared and Ian knew that could only ever be a disaster. He didn’t want to put anyone at risk, especially a patient. Wanda was his responsibility. He was a nurse first and foremost. That meant taking care of people and it was exactly why Jeb had chosen him.

_It doesn’t matter if I don’t tell them_ , he reasoned with himself. _If they don’t know, it won’t hurt_.

Ian hoped he was making the right decision.

* * *

 

“Are you sure about this?” Dr Seeker asked, starting down the man sitting in front of her. He didn’t look like much, just another unnecessary doctor, but he knew a lot which was his only true asset. Also the only reason she’d kept him here at all. Knowledge was power here and Dr Seeker knew how to find the best of it.

“Yes, it appears the girl is remembering the donor.”

“But _how_?” Dr Seeker asked. That was the only thing that mattered, how this girl was doing this. How she could stop it from ever happening again. A flaw like this could break everything.

“I—I’m not sure. It shouldn’t be possible.”

“Well find out,” she snapped back at him. “You of all people should be able to understand the implications.”

“I know, but I’ll need time. We’ll need to bring her in for observations.”

“That can be arranged. Could the serum stop this?”

“I don’t think so, not from what I’ve observed. Short of removing the heart entirely, I wouldn’t think we could do anything to stop it.”

“We must make sure she doesn’t remember anything else. You’re responsible for this. It’s your head on the block if this is compromised.”

The man paled his blotchy skin turning almost the same colour as his coat. “I’ll do everything I can.”

“Do more. This operation requires a delicate handling. If we allow this to happen again, it could go worse. Has anything else of the donor been transplanted?”

“No, not to my knowledge. The rest of the body is in storage.”

“Good; don’t let any more of her get out. If the donor is at fault here, then we must contain it. I won’t allow anyone else to end up like this girl.”

“I understand. Do you want me to destroy the body?”

“It would be wise, although I believe we must find the source before we eliminate it. I’m sure you understand what a valuable resource these are.”

“Of course I understand, better than most,” the man replied, patting his torso. Dr Seeker observed the reaction, remembering how sickly he’d been when she first found him. He’d been falling apart, his liver on its last and lungs that had all but given up. So she’d given him a second chance, which has assured her of his dedication to her cause. He’d done a lot of good around here, his gratefulness and genius making him a valuable asset. After all, knowledge was power and there wasn’t anything she wasn’t willing to do to protect it.

“Then you must find out why this has happened, and then _fix it_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow I've finally updated. Anyway, I've finished my plan for this fic and I think it's going to have around 30 chapters. That might change a bit, but that's about where I see this ending.


	6. Six

Jared’s favourite time of day fast became the early morning, precisely at 7:34 AM when he’d wake up to find a new stack of freshly delivered papers for Jeb’s archives. He was amazed at exactly how much Jeb had procured in the last few weeks, especially considering this was a man who’d started with absolutely nothing but a few ‘crazy’ theories.

All of the documents Jeb had found told a story, all the way down the odds and ends clippings from decades-old newspapers which documented a history most people didn’t know was being told. First, there were the reports of organ donation, the community newspapers talking about the miracle of that miracle kidney for the sick kid, or that heart for the dying woman. Then the bigger reports, the talk about the Host Program, the donation program ‘encouraging’ more people to sign up to become organ donators. Now, there was barely a mention about any of this. Not unless you knew where to look.

The medical records were the most effective. They were where the real truths lay—where the history really was. As the general public didn’t exactly have access to this kind of thing, it meant a hell of a lot was put on them. Not the whole truth spelled out in exact terms, but enough to tell you if you knew what to look for.

With every new stack of papers, Jared was slowly putting it all together, tracking Mel through a trail of medical notes and data. Little things that told him it was only the heart that had been donated so far, no news on the rest of the body. As far as he’d been told, Melanie had apparently been signed up as an organ donor for three years prior to her death. That she’d be saving a lot of people with the gift of her body.

Jared didn’t believe it, especially after the things Melanie had told him. She’d opened his eyes to this and now it was his turn to repay her by getting whatever was left of her back. Mel deserved a proper burial and he’d be damned if he was going to let her body be left like it was.

However, there was the matter of Wanda Reyes. Ever since he’d found out that there was someone who’d been given a heart and the hint Ian had given him, he’d found her. She was a sickly girl, or at least she was. According to what he’d read so far she was going along perfectly, expected to live a long and healthy life.

Today, his attention was caught with another of her files. This one was newer than the rest, dated less than a week ago, mere days. It was pushed into the bottom of the pile, as if it wasn’t meant to be there, but Jared knew it was the most important of them all.

As he read the document, part of him felt anger at this girl. This girl who shouldn’t have gotten this long and thanks to Mel’s unwilling sacrifice, here she was, Alive. Alive when Mel wasn’t and there was no way to take that back. It made him angry.

Logically, he knew Wanda couldn’t be to blame. She was just as much of a victim in this as Melanie was. She didn’t even know the truth; no inkling of the cost of this life she’d been given in any of the things the doctors had told her.

But today, this report was a little different from the rest. It was a report from one of the doctors, a Dr Greene. Jared scanned the report and almost couldn’t believe his eyes. It had to be impossible.

‘…. _patient displays symptoms not unlike schizophrenia, however these ‘dreams’ as she calls them, happen during sleep. Which leads me to my next logical conclusion: they must have come from the donor. The dreams are described by the patient as extremely vivid in nature, but there is no confirmation about the identity she assumes in them.’_

Wanda remembered Mel. 

His head started to spin as he read Wanda’s account of her ‘dreams’ about being another person, the words themselves like some kind of twisted miracle. Logically, he knew it should be impossible. It was just a heart and despite it belonging to someone he loved, there really couldn’t have been anything about it that could have done this.

But even so, Jared remembered dimly of stories he’d heard about heart transplants, of the people who’d picked up new habits post-surgery, developed strange new tastes and preferences. Maybe this was some kind of extreme thing, but that didn’t change the fact that it was happening. It was _real_.

Part of him wanted to cry, the other felt a bitter sense of anger. It was like some cosmic joke: the girl he loved dead, but her memories not so. There was still something of Melanie left in the world, and not just parts of her body; her memories were still there.

She wasn’t all gone.

The strange sense of hope twisted its way into him before he could stop it. Maybe this girl, this Wanda remembered enough about Mel to know who she was, to be enough of that person. Maybe she was Melanie now, for all the memories.

That, Jared knew was irrational. Melanie was gone and there was no going back. But it didn’t stop him from feeling like maybe, just maybe there was something left of Mel out there. Someone who could give him absolution for all the things he’d done.

Jared knew he had to act, to find Wanda and get her out of there. Dimly, he remembered something about Ian mentioning a girl who’d had a heart transplant in his hospital. Scanning back over the file, he found the name of the hospital. It was Ian’s.

For the first time since he’d arrived at Jeb’s place, he felt a true sense of hope. Here, he had a chance of getting real answers. Something more concrete than what he thought was ever possible. It would be like asking Melanie herself.

Besides, he’d be doing this girl a favour if he got her out of there. He could convince her she wasn’t going crazy, to _prove_ that she wasn’t. He’d save her from a life of assumed madness.

He could be a hero. All he needed to do now was save the girl.

* * *

 It was one of Ian’s rare days of when Jared confronted him and he had a feeling it was all planned out.

“You know,” Ian said when Jared arrived, looking a little worse for wear. The guy had always looked a little haunted, but this was different. He looked hopeful and Jared couldn’t decide what was more dangerous.

“You do,” Jared said. “Now you’re going to help me.”

“Why?” Ian replied.

“You know what she remembers about Mel. We can save her. The file told me she thinks she’s going crazy, but we know she’s not. She’s fine and we can prove it to her.”

“And you could use her as a replacement. Pick up where you left off,” Ian replied. Better if he just cut to the chance.

Jared went red. Not embarrassed, but angry. “I wouldn’t. I know she’s not Melanie.”

“Do you?” Ian replied.

“She’s just not. Anyway, you know she could help us. Having someone like her on our side could change everything. People would listen.”

Ian knew there was some sense to Jared’s words, but unlike Jared, he knew Wanda. Wanda was just an innocent; she didn’t deserve to get caught up in this mess.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. She’s not even out of hospital yet.”

“But you’re a nurse. You’d know what to do,” Jared insisted. “Besides, she should be released soon anyway.”

“A heart takes longer,” Ian replied. It was a lie, but Jared didn’t need to know that.

“See? You know this stuff. You can help her and Jeb has connections.”

“Not like that. Besides, this is a person we’re talking about, a real human being. You get that, right?” he asked.

“I know, but she _remembers_.”

“Still, that doesn’t mean she’ll help. You said yourself she thinks she’s going crazy.”

“Ian,” Jared begged, looking desperate. “You know that hospital and you said yourself you treated her. You can do this.”

“The trouble is: do I want to?” Ian asked, raising an eyebrow. He didn’t want to be rude, but Wanda wasn’t some pawn Jared could just use like he was saying. Maybe he did have good intentions, but he was also grieving. That made people do crazy things. He knew that all too well.

“You need to help me,” Jared insisted. “This will help the resistance.”

“You just want to use her.”

“I’ll be helping her out,” Jared pushed. He looked completely desperate now.

“But why are you asking this of me and not Jeb? Have you told him?”

“I’d rather have a team first,” Jared replied.

Ian wanted to shake him. Didn’t he understand what he was saying? This whole idea would end in nothing but trouble and Ian knew he had to make sure Jared let go of the idea. Letting him go ahead with such a reckless plan, no matter how good the possible payoff, wasn’t worth hurting anyone, especially Wanda.

“I’m not going to help you, Jared. You’re wasting your breath,” Ian replied. “Jeb would tell you the exact same thing.”

“You don’t know that. Help me out, Ian,” Jared begged. “We can do so much good with this, I know we can.”

“Jared,” Ian warned.

“Fine,” Jared replied and pursed his lips.

“Fine?”

“Fine. I’ll do this myself. I found Jeb on my own; I can damn well do this on my own too.”

Ian wanted to remind him that it was more the other way around, but Jared seemed impervious to reason. It scared him, honestly, to see that kind of determination in someone so ruined by grief. Sure, he hadn’t known Jared before now, but in all his hospital work, he got good at spotting grief on people. There was something about their eyes, the dark circles and the way they never quite looked warm, no matter how wide the smile.

“You’re not thinking straight, Jared,” Ian warned. “Give it time.”

“I can’t wait any longer. I know where she is _now_ and I can get her, _save_ her, even. I’d be doing her a favour. Goodbye,” Jared said, before turning his back and walking away. He walked a little taller now, as if this insane quest had given him some sense of satisfaction. Ian sighed and shook his head. Nothing good was going to come of this.

* * *

  _The couch was warm and damn better than anything else she’d ever slept on. Practically five star. She knew she had to be quiet; to act like she wasn’t even there, but it was worth it._

_Sneaking into a house had been Jamie’s brilliant idea, although she was sure he hadn’t been serious. But she was, and Mel was going to do everything she could to look out for him. Including sort of breaking in. After all, was it even breaking in if nothing was broken?_

_The owner of the house was out of town, just left for some fancy holiday she could only ever dream of, but they were also the kind of person to keep a spare key under the mat. Practically begging for someone like her to sneak in and sleep on the couch._

_Mel knew she probably should’ve taken them both to a homeless shelter, where they would’ve been guaranteed a decent meal and an actual bed. However, she knew it was all too easy to be found in one of those places, to simply vanish and never be seen again._ They _could find her there. At least here she could hide. Here, no one knew where she was and they never would, if it all went according to plan._

_She’d seen people vanish before, just disappear off the streets never too be seen again. It didn’t matter how hard she looked, she found nothing. They always left no trace, as if they’d never existed._

_That was not going to be here fate, not if she could help it. Melanie didn’t care that it meant she’d have to avoid the one place that was supposed to be a sanctuary, not if it meant the difference between life and whatever awaited the missing people._

_Jamie especially wasn’t going to end up like that. He deserved to live his life, to be_ someone _, not another life lost to whatever was out there taking people. As long as she lived, there was no way Melanie was going to let Jamie become another statistic._

_Right now, he slept on the couch beside her, breathing softly. It relaxed her, to see he was safe from harm. She felt like she was doing her job that way. That there was one thing in this world that still mattered even if everything else fell apart._

_Closing her own eyes, she drifted off to sleep, finally, finally able to relax._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> o, you're not dreaming. I actually updated that fast. I'm getting on a bit of a roll now I've got my plan done. I know where I'm going and now all I need to do is write. I'm sorry this is pretty filler-y, but I promise you I've got Big Things planned, espcially for the chapter after this.
> 
> Anyway, if you want to keep track of me otherwise, I can be found over on tumblr most of the time (url bluesargently bc hello the raven cycle. you gotta read that series if you haven't already. it's super great).


	7. Seven

Jared knows it’s a bad idea, but despite that he’s unable to shake the feeling he has to do it. Ian might not be willing to help him, but he was finding others. People like him who saw just how important this was, and most of all they were willing to act.

Granted, it would have been easier if Ian was willing to help. He'd have gotten perfect inside knowledge, but now he'd have to improvise.

The first he recruited, or more accurately they came to him, was Kyle O'Shea. Of all the people, Jared wasn't sure about Kyle at first, but unlike his brother, Kyle understood the importance of this. That there was no time for sentimentality when so much was at stake; this was war after all, some things needed to be sacrificed.

That’s how it was now; Jared could see it all so clearly, especially in the wake of his disagreement with Ian. The Soul Institute were _killing_ people, real human beings and sacrificing their lives to make others live longer. It wasn't fair and it most certainly wasn’t just. They deserved to be punished.

Wanda Reyes was the key to all of this. It was a good thing Kyle was able to understand this, even before he came to Jared.

“I hear you’re recruiting,” Kyle had told him, leaning lazily against the wall in Jeb’s archives.

“What’s it to you?” Jared had asked. He didn't really like Kyle, and only trusted him because he had to.

“I want to help,” Kyle had said, surprising him. “I hear you tried to get Ian in, but we all know my brother is too weak to really do anything that matters.”

Jared was listening now. “You’re willing to whatever it takes?”

“Of course I am. Besides, you need me. I know who'll help you. You've got no idea where to begin.”

“What’s in this for you?” He was still suspicious. Jared got the feeling Kyle didn't do anything unless it benefited him in some way.

“The satisfaction of getting things done; I don't agree with Jeb’s boring ‘infiltration’ ways. He’s an old man, not a revolutionary.”

“I'm not going to overthrow Jeb’s authority,” Jared said quietly.

“Maybe not,” Kyle said with a shrug. “But who knows what will happen.”

“Well, if it’s out of my hands, whatever. I don't care about taking over. I just want to get rid of _them_. And Wanda is the only way to do it.”

“Good. Tell me more,” Kyle had said.

And with that, everything else fell into place. A few others joined his cause, mostly with Kyle’s help. He was right, he'd known exactly who to talk to, who was willing to listen and which ones would’ve just shut him out.

His support swelled; all people who understood exactly what had to be done and how to do it. But most importantly, he found assets, people who could find out what they needed to know, even if the information wasn't as perfectly intimate as Ian’s.

Jared never mentioned anything to Jeb, who seemed to remain ignorant of the entire thing. Part of him wondered what that meant, if it meant anything. Maybe it was approval for what they were going to do. Or maybe Jeb was letting him run this to ruin.

Either way, he hoped it would all work out. There was nothing more important than getting this girl here so she could give back with the life Melanie had given her. It was the right thing to do.

* * *

 

Wanda almost couldn't believe it. Her last day at the hospital had come. A flurry of activity happened all around her, doctors and nurses alike shuffled around her, firing question after question at her.

Dutifully, Wanda answered every single one, her new heart beating rapidly in her chest. Tomorrow she’d be going home. There would be no more of those empty, colourless days anymore. Tomorrow she could start _living_.

The possibilities this heart had given her only made Wanda more excited. This was it. From here on, life could resume and there would be no more muttered ‘maybe until spring’ or worse to cloud her experience now. This was a time for life and she intended to embrace it wholly.

_I won’t let the gift of this heart be used in vain_ , she vowed to herself. However strange things felt with it, this was it. This was what _living_ was. Finally, everything was going to be okay.

* * *

 

Before his eyes, Jared’s plan came together perfectly, each piece falling in to place as if God Himself had orchestrated it all. Kyle was a miracle worker, and despite himself, Jared began to sort of like the guy. He was clever, picking out exactly the right people for the mission, people who could understand the importance of this.

None of them said no. They all followed, all ready to do what needed to be done. It was an exhilarating feeling, knowing these people understood him so well. He didn't feel helpless anymore, now he was finally living up to his promises, doing something that mattered.

However, not everything was perfect. Ian still kept an eye on Jared, watching him out of the corner of his eye. He did try and talk to Ian again, but he didn't seem to want to have any part of it.

“You don't need to do whatever you’re planning,” Ian had told him. “I know you think it's somehow right, but you'll only end up hurting people.”

Jared ignored Ian’s warning. Couldn't he see this was the most important thing? Nothing else mattered but rescuing this girl and showing her the truth. She needed to know what kind of memories she held, the power in what she knew.

Maybe she didn't understand it yet. It had to be scary for her.  Doing this would be a mercy, saving her from herself.

He felt a deep sense of conviction, knowing this was all going as planned. Here and now it was all coming together.

* * *

 

The night of action came quicker than he thought, even without Ian’s help, he got what he needed. Ideally, he would have liked to have gotten more help, perfect insider knowledge but he worked around it. An inventive hacker named Brant had managed to pull the security schedules from somewhere and along with the nurse’s rotation; after a quick analysis he found the chink in the armour.

As much as Jared wanted to go in there himself, to save this girl all on his own, he needed his team. With the loyalty, Kyle had also picked people with valuable skills. Each one was another perfectly placed piece, all of it running as smooth as clockwork. Seeing it all work gave him a certain kind of thrill, excitement at having finally achieved his goal.

Thanks to all of them, the mission was a success. They got Wanda Reyes out of the hospital and all without waking her. His luck was almost unbelievable and he wished Mel was here to share in the moment. He knew with all his heart she'd have wanted to do something like this. She understood what mattered; it was part of why he loved her.

 His heart ached when he thought of her, the memories of their time together. Before her, he'd lived such an ignorant life, buying all too easily into the lies. She'd changed that, opened his eyes to the truth and shown him what mattered.

But now maybe, there was a chance to get some of that back. After all, if this girl truly remembered Mel maybe some part of her could give him back the memories, to piece together the past and do justice for Melanie Stryder who died far too young.

* * *

 

She woke up in the dark. At first she thinks it’s just a restless night, her own excitement of finally, _finally_ going home making her jittery. But something feels off about this place. There’s a certain smell, something completely removed from the sharp, sterile scent of the hospital cleaner. Her new heart beats rapidly in her chest and she’s sure, _sure_ that it’s bad for her, but the fear doesn't let up.

Part of her wants to scream, but she feels like that might be an incredibly bad idea. Wanda’s heart continues to beat rapidly in her chest. She reached out and patted the bed she’s on. It’s the same bed she’s been sleeping in since she came to hospital. It’s a small comfort, but there’s still something entirely unsettling about it all.

Suddenly, there was a knock at what she assumed was the door. “Are you awake in there?” the voice asked.

Though she was sure she hadn't heard it before, something about the voice was deeply familiar. An echo of recognition she couldn't quite place. Her heart beat even more erratically.

“Hello?” she called out and wondered if this was an entirely bad idea to reply. Maybe she'd been abducted by a serial killer.

“Oh, good,” the voice said with a relieved sigh. “I’ll come in, if that’s okay.”

“Okay,” Wanda replied and was greeted with a burst of light. She squinted against it and waited for her eyes to refocus.

Eventually, her vision returned to her. At the door, there was a guy, perhaps only a few years older than her.

“Mel,” he breathed and suddenly, it clicked.

“You're not real,” she blurted out. “This has to be a dream.”

But it didn't feel like it. She wasn't someone else now; Wanda was just herself. No other girl inside her.

“You… you remember me?” Jared said with wide eyes fixed right on her. His gaze was unsettling, like he was staring at a ghost.

“I… We’re never met,” Wanda replied. “I haven't ever met many people. I’d remember better if we had.”

“No, I guess we haven’t. But I feel like I know you, sort of.”

It was a strange comment. “Are you a nurse?”

He shook his head. “No, I'm not.”

“Then how?”

“It’s complicated,” he replied and shook his head. “You’ve been having those dreams?”

“You too?” she asked. Maybe this was some kind of top-secret facility. Maybe her dreams meant more than she thought they did.

“Not exactly,” Jared replied. “You see, those were my memories.”

* * *

 

There’s a call at three in the morning. At first, she’s unsure of why anyone would bother, but the number answers her questions.

“What happened?” she asks, no time for pretence.

“The girl is gone.” 

She holds back a scream of anger. “How?” she replies, trying to keep her voice even as possible. One must always remain calm, even in the face of danger.

“There was a break in. It appears this is a targeted attack.”

“How could they know?”

“We’re establishing that now. Something will turn up eventually.”

“Make it turn up now. I don’t have time for this. We need to get the girl back.”

“We’re doing what we can, Doctor Seeker.”

“Do better. The board will not be pleased.”

She hangs up the phone and it’s only then does she allow one short, angry scream. Then it’s over, back to business. Wanda Reyes has to be found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ah yes, the mystery deepens. Rest assured I know exactly what I'm doing. Anyway, apologies this has taken so damn long, but school has just killed all free time I have and I've had almost no free time. But when I have I've tended to veg out and watch TV shows (I've just Outlander, which is great fun if you're into historical stuff). I should have another chapter up by the end of the month, I hope. No promises though. 
> 
> In other news I've written a whole lot of fic for the 100, which is basically my way of procrastination on actual fic I need to finish, so check that out if you like that kind of thing, I guess.


	8. Eight

"You shouldn't have done that," Jeb told Jared as soon as he saw him again. Jared had tried to hide it, but anyone who thinks Jeb Stryder just another clueless old guy has got another think coming. Just because he's got a few damn wrinkles doesn't mean he's senile.

"Done what?" Jared asked, feigning confusion.

"You know exactly what, boy. I'm not a fool."

"I did it for the best," he replied, looking at Jeb with conviction. Jeb doesn't quite believe it. That's the kicker, this boy, so determined he's got no idea what path he's gone down or the consequences.

Jeb wished he'd had the foresight to stop the boy, but he didn't want to push the boy away. He might be a pain in the ass, but he was Jeb's responsibility and he had to deal with him or no one else would.

"What you did was wrong," Jeb told him sternly. "I don't condone it, but we're stuck with it now. But the girl is your responsibility. If anything goes wrong, it's your head I'll be having."

"Everything will be fine," Jared replied. He sounds so convinced, that this foolhardy plan he's got worked out will turn out perfectly. Jeb wants to knock some sense into the boy, but he holds back. He's got better things to do than give Jared a good knock, things that will yield perfect results.

"It better be," Jeb replied and looked Jared in the eye, making sure the damn boy understood his meaning. "I'd throw you out, but because Mel trusted you and you're too far deep to be let out, I'm letting you stay. But one wrong move and it won't matter how close you were with my niece or whatever knowledge you have."

Jared nods seriously. "Understood," he said. "I'll see you later."

And with that, Jeb watched the boy walk away, hoping that this wasn't going to blow up in the boy's face like he thought it might. Just this once, he wanted to be wrong.

* * *

After Jared left, Wanda was more confused than ever. What did he mean about his memories? Did all of that really happen or was it some convoluted lie?

She lay there, trying to process his comment. Before she'd had a chance to ask a single question, he'd just left, but with a short, muttered apology and a promise to be back. Waiting for him to come back was torture. There were so many questions she had for him, but she had no idea when she'd see him next.

Most of all, she wanted to go back. Despite the strange promise of answers, she wanted to go home, back to the life she as supposed to be starting. Her heart ached for that life and all the promise it held. After years of ill health and never really living, she was beyond ready to start.

The room was still dark, but now that she'd seen some of it thanks to the light afforded to her when Jared opened the door, she knew something of her surroundings. It was something, and that was a whole lot better than when she'd woken up.

Now all she needed to do was find a way to escape. Wanda felt incredibly out of her depth in this place, having no idea of where exactly she was, though she assumed it couldn't have been far from the hospital. Not to mention that beyond the few episodes of  _Do Not Cross_  she'd watched, there was little she knew about hostage situations or whatever this was.

_They'll notice I'm gone_ , she reminded herself. That was the only thing that kept her going, the idea that there were people out there looking for her. People like her parents, even Ian who had to notice she was gone. Someone was going to find her. They had to.

Wanda closed her eyes and for the first time, wished she was Mel, the girl who actually knew how to escape. Melanie had gotten out of many bad situations, but Wanda didn't know those stories. Sighing with frustration, she leaned against the wall, hoping that this would all be over soon.

It had occurred to her that this could all be part of some test, but it didn't feel like it. There had to be something else to this. Whoever took her would have to tell her eventually. Then she could work out a way to get out. Talk them into reason, somehow.

"Are you awake?" Jared's voice called from behind the door. Wanda's heart beat faster in response.

"Yeah, I am," she replied. "You can come in."

Jared opened the door and she noticed he looked different to what she'd dreamed about. Standing before her was someone a little older, noticeably changed by time. The Jared she pictured in her head was softer, less hard and perhaps kinder. This one didn't look like he'd smile easily. His intense eyes fixed on her. Wanda notices they're the colour of honey, but there's something hard about them, making her think of amber. It's like something made him freeze up and petrify, transform from a soft, kind person who let homeless girls stay in his grandparent's house to this strange new person.

"How are you?" he asked.

"I've been better. This whole thing kinda sucks," she replied.

"I get that," he tells her, nodding. "It's a big change. You must be so confused."

"I want you to explain it to me. Why did this happen? Why do I remember that girl?"

"Melanie. Her name was Melanie," Jared said firmly. "And I don't know. I'm not sure what makes you so special."

"I wish I knew."

"Tell me about what you know, even the smallest details," he asked, suddenly vulnerable. It's then Wanda starts to understand how much he cared for this Melanie, the girl her 'memories' belonged to.

"I'm not sure where to begin," Wanda replied. "I haven't talked about it much at all."

"Start from the beginning; whatever you remembered first."

"Well, I remember her meeting you," she said. "She snuck into this old place, because she knew the door was unlocked. Then you were inside."

"I remember that," Jared said softly. "She looked so dangerous."

"She was terrified, though I'm not sure she'd admit that to herself," Wanda told him. "But you were kind."

The memories come back to her now, almost as real as her own. It's hard to remember she only met Jared last night. There are so many memories Melanie has of him. The moments between them that she feels like a peeping tom for knowing, all those intimate details stacked up in her head.

"It was confusing for her, being shown that kind of generosity. She'd run away from some pretty bad stuff."

"She did mention it," Jared said. "Do you know the full story?"

"I think so, but I don't know. New things come up all the time."

"Every night?" he asked curiously.

"I think so," she replied. "But I don't always know it, you know? I'll remember something she liked and suddenly I'll be there. I started watching  _Do Not Cross_  the other day and I knew everything about it even though I'd never seen an episode in my life."

Jared smiled and Wanda's heart melted. He looks so much softer now, almost like an angel. Her heart picks up pace and she's sure he's noticed her blushing, but he seems lost in thought.

"Mel did always like that show," he said after a moment. "She'd always insist I record it so she could watch it with me."

Wanda nods, recalling some distant detail of a dream, no  _memory_ , she reminds herself. This is all real, real as day. She might as well start accepting it, especially when there's living proof right in front of her.

"It's crazy," Wanda said. "I thought it was just some dream and that none of it was real."

"It is," Jared replied. "All of it, no matter how bad."

"Yeah," Wanda replied. "I never thought I'd know this much about my donor's life. They don't usually tell you anything about that kind of thing"

It's a nonchalant comment, but something about it makes Jared stiffen up.

"Melanie wasn't a donor," he replied, his voice as hard as stone.

"No, she was. I wouldn't have her heart otherwise."

"That's not the truth, Wanda."

"Then what is?" she asked. "There's no other way I'd have her heart otherwise."

"She wasn't a damn donor and they killed her and took her body, used it all up so rich assholes like you could live another day with your damn money!" Jared said and his hands curled into angry fists as he spoke, perhaps an unconscious reaction.

The words were like a physical blow, all sharp edges designed to hurt. Wanda wanted to cry at his anger, but she willed herself not to. Tears would be no use now. She needed to be above that.

"You're crazy," she told him. "Maybe she just didn't tell you."

"Oh, she told me alright. Told me all about what the Soul Institute did."

"They saved my life, Jared," she said, trying to make him understand. "You can't just hate them for that."

"Melanie would, you  _should_."

"I can't," she replied, shaking her head. Maybe she's stumbled into some crazy cult.

"I saved you from them!" he spits out. "You should be thanking me."

Wanda stiffens. "You did this?"

"Of course I did! I had to get you out of there and—"

" _You_  kidnapped me?" she all but yelled. "I was supposed to go home! This was all supposed to be over now and you just took me!"

"I saved you from them. You'd have thought you were crazy—" Jared protests.

"Why did you do it, Jared? Why the hell do you think that kidnapping me was okay?" she said, cutting him off.

"I did it for Melanie. She'd understand."

Wanda shook her head. "Why would she be okay with this? I don't know her."

Jared looks her right in the eye, his golden eyes blazing. "You're her, or part of you is. It's why you remember all of this—"

"I'm not her, Jared. I don't know Melanie. Just because I know a few things doesn't make me her," she told him, feeling disappointed. Of course his kindness was all an act, a simple charade so he could use her. He just wants Melanie's memories, not her, not at all. She feels foolish for even thinking he'd even see her at all.

"It was for the greater good. To take the Soul Institute down, that's the end goal here. You're the key to all of that."

Wanda shook her head. "I'm not some martyr."

"You can do this. It's why you remember."

"No, it's not," she said firmly. "I'm just a person and I want to go home."

"You can't," Jared insisted.

"So you're keeping me prisoner? That's illegal."

"You'll see, Wanda. This isn't some cult or whatever you think this is. It's a resistance."

Wanda just shook her head. "Please, just take me home." She suddenly feels incredibly tired, like she'd gone back to three months ago when getting out of bed was a miracle.

"You'll understand it soon enough, Wanda. This whole thing will make sense eventually. You just need a moment to process it."

"This is all crazy talk," she said.

"It's the truth. Do you think you were just lucky to get your heart? No, it was a damn deliberate move. They get all their organs from other people, those they don't think are worth life and take them, take their bodies apart and give the pieces out."

Wanda felt ill. "You're a liar. Crazy."

"I'm not," he said. "This is the truth. All those 'lucky' people and the Host Program is a lie. It's just a neat little façade they can use to cover it all up. And you're what can bring it all down. You remember Melanie, some part of her hasn't let go. She's fighting so you can."

Wanda decides maybe it's time to try a different strategy. "And if I do? What can I do to help?"

Jared reached out and taps her temple softly. Despite herself, Wanda's heart beats erratically, the smallest touch making the place where his fingers touched her tingle. She hates herself for this reaction. So what if he's good looking? He's just a common liar. But part of her can't shake the images of his kind face in Melanie's memories, that other Jared who was kind enough to a girl who'd broken into his great aunt's house.

It's hard to reconcile this Jared with that one. Wanda thinks she likes that other Jared better, the one who probably would never had done something like this.  _Greif changes people_ , she reminds herself, thinking of the way her own grandmother had become a whole lot less lifeless after the death of her husband, the way she'd simply wilted.

"It's all in your head. The truth is right there. You just have to know what to look for. Melanie knew all of this. You do, only you don't know it yet," Jared tells her softly before his fingers leave her face.

Wanda shook her head. "It's a lot to take in."

"I didn't believe it at first either, but then she showed me where to look and there it all was: the 'miracle' organs coming when they needed most, the mysterious disappearances. All of those little things matter; Melanie good like that – she knew exactly where to look. Just like her uncle."

Wanda jerked her head up at him. "Jeb?"

Jared smiled. "Yeah, this is his little project, this whole place. It's why she was looking for him."

Wanda mulled over this new information in. Did Jeb know about this? Did he just let it happen? Or was it simply Jared's grief-driven insanity that got her here? She has to know more and Jared's just sitting here and if he believes she's going along with it, maybe he would slip out some critical bit of information she could use to escape. Or maybe he'd even start to trust her and then her task would be so much easier.

"Then tell me more," Wanda said. "Fill in the gaps."

* * *

Jared felt like he should be worried about Wanda's sudden change in attitude, but he doesn't care. Any chance to talk about her memories is more than enough.

"Dou you remember when we first met?" he asked.

"I remember her stealing the buttered corn," Wanda said and Jared feels a small ache in his heart at the memory and the details came back, all those little things he'd forgotten coming back to the surface.

"Yeah, corn," he said, smiling at the memory of the first meal they shared together. Mel had been especially cagey, giving out few details, but she'd been there. "I thought she was crazy, but I realised she was just desperate, doing what she could to survive."

"She was so scared," Wanda said. "I don't remember much else about that night yet, but I remember that much."

Jared watched Wanda carefully, still unable to believe that this was possible. Here was a girl, small and fragile somehow able to remember so much of a life that wasn't her own. It was a miracle.

"It took her a long time to really trust me after that, but she still kept coming back," Jared said. "I'd make her some food and then she'd eat half, sometimes less and then disappear."

"She was protecting her own," Wanda said. "Jamie."

"Her brother," Jared said with a nod. "She didn't tell me about him for a long time. I thought it was just her out there."

Wanda looked up. "Is he okay now?"

"He is. Jeb has him staying with his wife."

"I'm glad he's okay," Wanda said. "I was worried."

Surprisingly, she smiled and Jared felt struck by the strangeness of this whole situation. For so long he'd thought he'd never be able to talk about these days, but then there was Wanda, able to understand it all so perfectly, because in a way, she'd lived them too.

"What else do you remember?" Jared asked.

"Bits and pieces," Wanda said. "It's like reading a story out of order, but I haven't seen the beginning or the end, just the middle bits."

"Okay," Jared said and felt strangely disappointed. He wished he'd known more about that day, about what exactly had gone on. All that he knew was in the morning Melanie was fine, but then he'd gotten a call later and then he was at a hospital with a nurse telling him the news: Melanie was dead.

He'd felt numb for days afterwards, unable to process what he'd been told, especially the part about her body being donated. She'd been so adamant about not wanting to give herself up, but somehow her worst fear had happened.

"No," Wanda said and shivered unconsciously. "I'm not sure I want to. I don't want to see death like that."

"But if you do, tell me," Jared requested. Wanda nodded.

"I'll do my best," she said. "But I can't pick and choose what comes up. It's all random."

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes I'm sitting around and then suddenly, I remember something new and I don't even know it because that was all Melanie and it wasn't new to her, if that makes sense."

Jared nodded and he felt his belief reaffirmed. He'd meant it when he told Wanda that some part of Melanie was living on in her. Mel was a fighter, giving up wasn't in her DNA. And hearing this from Wanda was a reminder that all wasn't lost.

Maybe he hadn't really lost Melanie at all. This could be his second chance.

"I'm not her, Jared," Wanda said, as if sensing his thoughts. "Don't pretend I'm her."

"But you have her memories, her mind. Part of her is in you."

Wanda shook her head. "I don't know what it is that is making me remember her life as she lived it, but I'm not her. I'm Wanda. That's all there is to it."

"You'll see," he said.

"But I'm still me, Jared. No matter if there's some part of her that in me thanks to this heart. I'm still me."

"You know the ancient Egyptians saw the hearts the centre of self."

"That was a long time ago, Jared."

Jared shrugged. "Maybe there's some truth to that. Besides, aren't there stories of people changing a little after a surgery like yours?"

"Yeah, but I'm still not her, Jared, no matter how much you want me to be. Melanie is dead and you need to accept it."

"Don't tell me what I already know," he snapped.

"Please leave," Wanda said. "I don't want to talk about any of this anymore."

Jared was about to protest, but the look on her face was not unlike Melanie's when she didn't want to talk. Reluctantly, he got up.

"I'll talk to you later, then," he said before leaving, making sure the door was locked behind him.

Once outside, Jared wished he'd been able to keep his cool better, but there was something about Wanda's accusations that got to him. Did she really think that of him? Looking back, he realised he hadn't given her much of a choice. But didn't she know how important Mel was to him? Surely, she could understand how much he needed to hear about Melanie's memories. It was all about resolution.

He could only hope he could make her see that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No you're not dreaming I did update that fast. Crazy, huh? 've been on a bit of a writing kick and I've managed to get up to writing chapter ten, which is excellent progress. Though I probably won't post chapter nine until next week, mostly bc I want to have a vaguely consistent posting schedule for this month and maybe even into next month just to change things up a bit and force myself to write more and get closer to done (I want to be able to finish this whole thing by the end of the year, which might be an insane task considering the WIPs I've got going, but who knows, maybe I can do it).
> 
> Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed that and your thoughts and theories in reviews and such are always welcome. ^^


	9. Nine

**_INTEROFFICE MEMORANDUM_ **

_TO: All staff_

_FROM: Dr Seeker_

_SUBJECT: The Host_

_PRIORITY: High_

_DATE: 20/5/45_

_In light of last night's events, a search is being put under way for the recovery of the Subject. Any information that could lead to the recovery of the Subject will be greatly rewarded. Consequently, any attempts to obscure information or hinder efforts will result in termination of employment and legal action taken._

_The Subject must be found at any cost._

* * *

 

“Rest assured Mr and Mrs Reyes, your daughter will be found,” said the cool and collected employee. He sounded like a robot to Anna Reyes and she wondered, not for the first time, if the Soul Institute had found a way to create artificial intelligence. It wouldn't surprise her at this point, especially after all the security she had to walk though.

The office space she’s in is surprisingly minimal, all smooth white surfaces and chrome, sleek perfection. Not to mention totally cold, just like the bastard standing right in front of her trying to tell her that this is all going to be find.

“Wanda better be okay,” Anna said fiercely.

“She will. Our security team is currently putting on an internal investigation as we feel this needs to be as discreet as possible. This is an extremely delicate situation.”

Anna stiffened. “So you've had incidents like this before?”

“Once, but we have strict protocol in case of any kind of emergency. Everything has a plan and a backup plan here. We're ready for anything,” the employee said calmly and tapped away on their tablet.

“You need to do better. I won’t rest until my daughter is back at home,” Anna snapped, trying to hold back her tears. Crying would be no use now. No amount of tears would resolve this situation. As if sensing her thoughts, Benjamin put his hand on her arm and patted it gently. She tried to use the touch of her husband to channel her strength, to find some way not to break in two.

Her daughter was kidnapped and no one was telling her why, just making vague comments about ‘waiting for contact’ before anything could be determined.

“We'll do everything we can. Our criminology department is working on this now. It’s our highest priority. We will get your daughter back.”

Anan shakes her head. “How did this happen?” she mutters to herself. It’s like something out of a movie, so ridiculous it’s just screaming Hollywood. It seems it’s only a matter of time before there’s a media swarm around her house.

“This is an anomaly, I assure you,” the employee replied, still perfectly cool while Anna was doing everything she could not to fall apart. It made her hate this stupid _kid_ in his stupid white suit and oddly steady eyes.

“Just do what you can,” Benjamin said calmly. “I just want my girl back home.”

“As I've said, everything in our power will be done to bring her back. The Soul Institute will not let this incident slip by.”

* * *

 

It doesn't take Ian long to figure out that Jared’s plan went ahead. That’s all Kyle’s fault; though Ian’s sure he would've figured it out soon enough. It’s lucky that his damn brother can’t keep his mouth shut.

“We fucking did it, brother. It’s all fucking done and we didn’t need you to do it,” Kyle slurs as he crashes on Ian’s couch. Technically, the two don’t live together in this place, but that hardly stops Kyle from coming over and crashing at Ian’s room. “Because it’s closer” Kyle tells him anytime Ian complains.

Ian’s so surprised by Kyle’s words he nearly drops the book he’s reading. But after the initial shock wears off, he’s not sure he should’ve expected anything else from Kyle. Figures his brother would do something like this.

“You shouldn't have done that,” Ian told him.

“I did what needs to be done, brother,” Kyle replied, though it sounded childish in his drunken state. “What you didn't have the guts to do.”

“Wanda didn't ask for this,” Ian replied, an edge to his voice.

“She’s part of it, whether she likes it or not. That rich bitch will bring this down.”

“Don’t call her that,” Ian said sharply. There may have been a whole lot of things that Wanda was, but she wasn’t that. She was just another person in this world blinded by a falsity most people were only too happy to believe. It was easier than the alternative. He didn't blame her for her ignorance, not like Kyle seemed to.

“Oh, is she your little girlfriend?” Kyle sneered. “You wanna make out with a heartless chick like that? I bet it'd be like kissing a corpse.”

“Get to bed, Kyle,” Ian said simply, but his mind spun. There had to be a way to find Wanda and get her out of here. No matter how much he believed in this cause, he didn't want to drag an innocent in on this. Wanda didn't deserve that.

As Kyle slept, Ian planned.

* * *

 

The next time there’s a knock on the door, it’s not Jared who comes in. This time, it’s an older man with grey hair and a beard. He’s got lots wrinkles around his eyes, speaking of years of hard labour under a bright sun. There was something familiar about him, like she’d seen him before, but she couldn't place the face.

Wanda studied him for a long moment and scanned every detail, but there was nothing in her memory that could tell her where she knew him from.

“Wanda, isn't it?” The man asked.

She nodded in response, unable to trust herself to speak.

“I’m Jeb Stryder,” he told her and sat down on the edge of her bed.

Unable to hide her surprise, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “You’re uncle Jeb.”

Jeb just looked at her carefully. “I see Jared meant it when he said you had some of Mel’s memories.”

 “Something like that,” she said with an edge to her voice. “What do you want?”

“I just want to talk, that’s all,” he told her.

“About what? Are you just going to pick my brain for her memories and pretend I’m some kind of substitute?” she snapped.

Jeb exhaled. “The boy didn't tell me that. But even so, I know you ain't her.”

Wanda felt some of her anger fade. “I don’t want to be the shadow of a dead person.”

“I know you're not, but that does complicate things. If you have her memories, you know what’s been going on.”

“She was looking for you. That’s all I know, I swear.”

“Maybe now, but more will come. There were few secrets of theirs Mel didn't know and they'd do a lot to keep them that way.”

“What are you saying?”

“I'm sure the boy’s told you by now that Mel wasn't a donor.”

Wanda shakes her head. “But that doesn't make any sense.”

“It’s the truth and it’s ugly. The truth is no one is a donor anymore. Not really. In fact there’s probably less than half a million people in the world right now who are donors. No one likes the idea of giving their bodies up after death.”

“But the Host Program—”

“Is a lie,” Jeb said. “It’s not what you think it is. They find anyone who they don’t think is worth livin’ and they kill them. You'd be surprised at how many homeless and the like go missing and how little it’s questioned. People just accept it.”

Wanda shook her head. “But they saved my life and so many others. How can they do that?”

“I don’t know the answer to all your questions,” Jeb replied. “Mel knew more than I did.”

“But wouldn't people notice?”

“I noticed,” Jeb said. “And other people did to. We stuck together.”

“So why did Jared take me, then? Does he just want me there to remember her?”

“The boy probably thought he was doing some good. He’s lost to the world now. Still can't let go of her.”

“And that makes this okay?” she snapped, thinking of Jared’s comments about part of Melanie being a part of her now. It made her sick to think of that, to realise that he didn't really see her.

“It doesn’t. I don’t condone what he did, but the truth is I can't just let you leave. Mel knew a lot and if what you're saying about Mel’s memories is true, then you’re a lot more valuable than you know.”

“I just want to go home,” she said, suddenly feeling extremely small. It was like no one could really see her. All she was to these people was a ghost of someone else.

“If I didn't know they'd try to figure out all this information themselves, maybe things would be different. But this is the world we live in and there’s no changing it now. Sending you back now would just as soon see you killed or worse.”

“Then why show me your face at all?”

“Because I want to give you a chance,” Jeb said. “I'm not going to force you to help us, not at all.”

“But you're not going to let me leave?”

“I can't do that. I have my people here I need to protect. And you'd be worse off out there.”

“Maybe I want to take that risk.”

“You don’t, Wanda. There’s nothing worth letting them have you.”

“I don’t believe any of this.”

“It’s a lot to take in, but it’s the truth, plain and simple. This is the world we live in.”

“I can’t believe that.”

“I know you don’t want to, Wand, but this is how it is. I wouldn't be here if this was all a lie. I check my facts.”

Wanda thought about it for a moment. “If I was to help, what the hell could I do? I benefited from this,” she said, though she was still reluctant to really believe Jeb’s story. It all seemed too unreal, but there was something about what Jeb was saying that sparked something in her she couldn't ignore. A fragment of a memory she hadn’t reached yet.

“You're a victim in this, same as all of us. You didn't ask for someone to kill someone and take their hearts. This is all a story people need to hear. Having someone like you confess to this, it would make people pay attention.”

“I’d need more time to think about all of this,” Wanda said.

Jeb nodded. “It’s a lot to process, I know. But you'll have to make a decision soon. I have people to keep safe.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“I'm not saying you will. They'll use you somehow, Wanda. They don’t help people, not by far. They help themselves. Remember that.”

Wanda closed her eyes and tried to fight back the tears that threatened to overspill. She wasn't going to cry, not now after she’d lasted this long. But her resolve was getting harder and harder. With all the things she’d heard today, it felt like her brain was going to explode.

“Cam I have until tomorrow to make a decision?” Wanda asked. “I need to think about this.”

“That’s fair,” Jeb said with a nod. “But you'll need to be making that decision tomorrow. I can't let this drag on. Like I said, there are people here who rely on me to keep them safe. I need to protect my own.”

Wanda nodded, although she wasn't sure what he was threatening her with, if at all. Her gut said to trust him, but she couldn't be sure if that was just Melanie, some vestige of memory trying to force a decision upon her.

“I'll leave you to it, then, Wanda,” Jeb said. “I'm sorry it’s so dark in here, but at least that boy isn't stupid about everything.”

“So there’s some light somewhere?”

Jeb didn't answer her question. “I'll have someone bring you some food soon. Anything you can’t eat?”

“I'm good with anything, just not blueberries.” she said and for a moment, Jeb just regarded her with his steady gaze and she shifted uncomfortably until the memory of eating a blueberry came back to her. It was only a week before her operation and it'd been such a comfort. But why did it now suddenly make her stomach turn?

“I'll see what I can do,” was all Jeb said to that before he left.

* * *

_“That doesn't make any sense Mel,” Jared said, shaking his head. “Are you okay?”_

_“It’s the truth,” she said seriously and hoped it would be enough, that there was_ something _she could say to get Jared to understand and stop believing in a lie._

_“But the Host Program—”_

_“Is a lie,” she said flatly. “There’s nowhere near enough true donors in the world to have this kind of easy supply of organs, not without some corners cut. They know what they’re doing and they're killing for it.”_

_“Mel,” Jared said softly._

_“They'll kill me,” Melanie replied. “They'll kill me if they found out I knew this.”_

_She didn’t add just how much she knew beyond this. All those details she’d found in places people didn't quite know could be looked in. It was all so much and she needed to tell Jeb, to find him and safety. That was the only place left for her now. No matter how much she wanted to stay with Jared, in this small, perfect little world, there was going to be no rest until she did what needed to be done._

_Before, finding Jeb was all about survival, but things had changed. There was so much more to it than what she first thought. Jeb had to know some of it, but not what she knew. This went beyond anything else he'd find. Sure, Jeb was smart, but he couldn't have known this._

_“They save lives, Mel. I don’t think they'd kill you.”_

_“They would, Jared. They'd do everything they can to silence me and killing me is the best way to do it. Quickest too.”_

_“Don’t say that. You're not on any hit list,” Jared snapped. “You're safe here.”_

_“But not for good,” she said and looked away from him. Melanie wanted so much to tell him to forget this and pretend she’d never said anything, but there was no going back now._

_“Don’t leave,” he said, but she caught the double meaning._

_“I’m not just going to run off in the middle of the night, Jared, but you know I can't stay forever. I need to find Jeb.”_

_“I could help you find him. I don’t believe you about the rest, but maybe Jeb can help you.”_

_“I don’t know,” she said. “There’s so much to do.”_

_Jared didn't stay anything; instead he reached out and hugged her. She leant into his embrace. “You don’t have to do anything right now. We’ll work this out together.”_

_She kissed his cheek. “Okay.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there it is. Chapter nine is done and I hoped you enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, especially those earlier bits. Once again, reviews are always welcome as I love hearing your theories and feedback. it makes my day. 
> 
> Anyway, chapter ten might be a little while off yet because I've had such a chaotic time lately and it's only going to get more intense from here on out. I don't think I'll be able to write a lot anytime soon because I have a whole bunch of important exams looming and revision is entirely important right now. However, in a month I'll be entirely free to write so by then I hope to have nice and regular updates. 
> 
> But in other news, I think this whole fic might even surpass 30 chapters (which was my original plan) because I've been adjusting my whole plan lately and there's a lot of story ahead.


	10. Ten

A knock on the door told Wanda that it must be morning. Being in this dark room had made her lose all sense of time and it was unsettling to realise just how much time had passed. Sure, she'd slept, but it had been a fitful sleep punctuated with dreams of Melanie.

"Come in," she said absently, still mostly lost in thought. All she could really think of was the conversation she'd remembered. Seeing that disbelief on Jared's face and feeling the urgent sense of conviction in Melanie had made her reconsider her position. Maybe staying here, she could do something, but what? She didn't have any skills to offer. She was just someone caught up in this mess. All she had was memories of someone else's life.

Light poured in from the open door and Wanda squinted against it. Then, the person at the door hit a switch and the whole room lit up. For a moment, the light blinded her and she blinked against it, willing her eyes to adjust.

"Hello," a voice said and she froze.  _It couldn't be_ , she thought, confusion making her stomach churn.

"Ian," she said, unable to think of a better response. A moment later, her eyes have adjusted and she looks up at him, quite unable to believe he's here.

"Yes," he said. Wanda noticed he looked different from the last time she'd seen him. Less certain, as if he was worried about how she'd react to him being here. He wasn't in his nurse's uniform and it made him look a lot younger.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. Wanda didn't want to tip-toe around the truth, not now. Even though she still felt a little unable to wrap her head around all she'd been told, Wanda still wanted honesty about this. She had to know how much of a part he'd had in her kidnapping.

He had to have been instrumental—he of course, knew something of her secret. Maybe he'd even known Melanie.

"I work for Jeb," Ian said simply. He was looking at her, but cautiously as he assessed her reactions to him.

"Is that all?" she asked.

"That's all," he said, then a pause as he realised what she was really asking. "I didn't have anything to do with Jared. Not directly. I didn't want to be involved."

"What did you do then?"

"He asked about you when we first met. It wasn't long after your operation. Well, he asked about your heart. I didn't tell him your name. He figured most of that out by himself."

"But how did he know about the rest?" she said, meaning the dreams; the memories.

Ian looked down. "That was my fault. I passed on a document not realising what it was."

Wanda turned away from him and leaned against the pillow on her bed. He wasn't innocent of anything, just as she'd suspected, but it wasn't as much as she'd assumed. All he could be really at fault for was accidental. But that didn't make her feel okay, not by a long shot. He still played a part.

"Please leave," she said flatly.

"I'm sorry," Ian said. "I didn't want this to happen. I thought I could keep you safe from that."

Wanda didn't open her eyes. If she did, even for a second, she'd probably forgive him, or even cry and those two things were the last thing she wanted. She wanted to feel angry, to have something to channel to make her feel less helpless in this place—something to remind her to be productive.

When she didn't say anything else, Ian simply left. He'd left the light on, but even that small kindness wasn't going to move her.

She waited until she was sure he was gone somewhere else before opening her eyes. Beside her bed was a bowl of cereal, some kind of muesli. No blueberries.

Strangely, the lack of berries makes her feel unbearably sad and before Wanda can stop herself, she's crying.

* * *

 

It's an immeasurable amount of time later when Jeb arrives. Thankfully, all her tears have long since passed and though there's still something of an ache in her chest that has nothing to do with her new heart, she feels so much better.

"Hello Wanda," Jeb said as he walked in.

"Hi," she said. "I've made my decision."

Jeb looked at her curiously. "And what that might be?"

Wanda took a deep breath. "I'll help."

"That's good to hear," Jeb said and she detected something like surprise in his voice. She wasn't sure why, but having seen Melanie's perspective had changed her outlook. Having seen the way Jared had acted in that memory, Jared who was now so convicted, made her think that maybe there was something here. Something she wanted to help with.

"I don't know what I can do," Wanda said. "I don't have any special skills. I've never even done anything illegal."

"You have a story—and Mel's memories. Both of those things are more important than you know."

Wanda felt a stab of bitterness at being defined, even in part, by her connection to Melanie. Part of her still wanted to deny it existed, but there was living proof in the face of Jared Howe and that was impossible to ignore. But despite that, there was some comfort in his words. Jeb understood she was important somehow.

"But how can I make sense of any of it? I don't even remember everything. I don't know if I ever will."

"We'll figure something out," Jeb said and she looked at him sceptically. How could he do anything about this? It was unfamiliar territory for her and perhaps most doctors in the world. Most people didn't even really think it could be possible. But despite it all, Jeb seemed sure he knew how to figure it all out.

"Thank you," she said.

Jeb just nodded. "It's no problem, Wanda. This place here is supposed to help people. Now, I'm sorry that you arrived to us like this, but I don't know how we can fix that now."

"Can I contact my parents?" she asked.

"I wish you could, but I'm pretty sure the Soul Institute has got their eyes on them. And I can't risk that."

"Okay," she said, though she resolved to find a way despite that. She wanted to reassure her parents somehow, to let them know that she was okay. They'd spent so much of their lives taking care of her and she wasn't about to just abandon that. No, she'd find a way to reassure them somehow. They had to know she was fine.

Jeb stood up and Wanda was sure he was going to leave, but instead he looked at her expectantly. "Well, now let's get some fresh air. Meet a few people," he said.

Wanda was so surprised she nearly fell out of bed. "You're letting me out of here? Just like that?" she asked.

'You'll still have to stay here, but there's little need for this kind of secrecy now," Jeb said. "Follow me."

* * *

It felt surprisingly good to be outside. In her time before the operation, she'd barely been able to leave her room most days, let alone go outside—unless of course she was going to the hospital, but even then she'd be carefully escorted.

Now, she was pretty much free. Thanks to the weeks of physical therapy and the miracle of the heart and whatever drugs they'd given her, she could be outside and walk feely.

"It's a nice day," she commented and relished in the way the warmth of the sun felt on her cheeks.

Now that she was outside, Wanda saw that this place was a giant warehouse. There were people around, all looking like an ordinary crowd. Those people didn't seem too friendly towards her, though. Sure, they smiled when they saw Jeb, but that stopped once they saw her. It was as if they already knew who she was. What she was.

"How did you put all of this together?" she asked, looking around. It seemed an impossible feat, but yet here it all was: Jeb's resistance.

"Hard work, mostly; it wasn't easy to do," Jeb said.

"But where are we?" she asked and wondered if he'd tell her anything.

"Around," was the only answer Jeb gave her. "None of the where matters. Right now, what matters is that this is it. This is us fighting back against the people who've hurt the world. All these people have lost someone to the Host Program."

The way he spoke, it made her understand how people had gravitated towards him.

"Not everyone believes the damage that's been done and I don't blame them. Folks used to call me crazy, but I guess I showed them," Jeb said with a laugh. "Here, we're working towards finding a way to not only expose the truth, but stop it from happening."

"How do you do any of this?" Wanda asked.

"We watch and wait. Gather the information we need. Proof is important to us here. If we can expose them, to show the world with certainty what has been done, they won't be able to hide anymore. We owe the world the truth."

"But what could I do?" she asked. "I'm not like Melanie was."

"You know her," Jeb said. "Whatever secrets she had, they're with you now."

"No one can know that," Wanda said. "Maybe I only know a little bit."

Jeb just looked at her. "I wouldn't bet on it," he said. "I think there's more in there."

Wanda shook her head. "This is all so much," she said.

"That's just the way it is. I'm afraid I can't do anything about that."

As they moved along, Wanda spotted Ian out of the corner of her eye. She paused for a moment, his eyes locking with hers, but she looked away quickly. She still wasn't ready to forgive him for what happened. He was still part of the reason why she was here.

"But shouldn't Melanie have had a back-up?" Wanda questioned. "Surely she understood how dangerous her information could be."

"I'm sure she had something hidden away. However, it ain't gonna easy to find, Wanda. As much as I want to think so, I know Mel wouldn't just deliver it here. She's smarter than that."

"Then I guess I better figure this one out," Wanda said, meaning it. As much as she hated how she'd come here, she felt like she had to do something. Melanie had died so she could live and Wanda realised she couldn't let that go to waste. She had to help, somehow.

She owed the girl who'd given her new life that much.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes! My hiatus us all over and I'm back to writing this fic. Exams were hell, but that's all over now and I'm officially free from all responsibility on that front. I just have to wait it out now. And that equals prime fic-writing time (along with a whole bunch of other things I've got planned)
> 
> Anyway, thoughts and theories on this would be great. I love your feedback (and I know this isn't much, but chapter 11. I'm excited about that one).


	11. Eleven

Jared didn't even need to announce himself when he came into Wanda's room. She already knew it had to be him, back again to convince her to tell her everything about Melanie – to become a neat little replacement for the girl he'd lost. Part of her didn't blame him. She knew people had strange reactions in grief, though Wanda had never had much thought to it herself – not beyond the morbid thoughts she'd had before her new heart. Back then, she'd read through all the grief counselling pamphlets her parents had accidentally left nearby – a sign of their fading hope in her condition and the acceptance of what they believed to be inevitable.

"Hey," he'd said softly as he came in, having strolled in so casually as if he had a right to.

Wanda didn't reply. She didn't know how to respond to him, especially after she'd told him to leave. He had before, but now she wasn't so sure he could be shaken so easily. Maybe now he thought he could more easily sway her now that her 'shock' had worn off and she'd chosen to stay her.

"Please," he said and placed a hand on her arm. Wanda's heart rate picked up.

More than anything, Wanda hated how her body reacted to Jared. It was those memories, she told herself. All those glimpses of the person Jared was back before Melanie had died haunted her – those eyes which were once golden and warm like honey, his quick and easy smile – the markers of a person in love. That was what had caught her. The memory of someone in love and those times she'd believed it – felt that love deep in Melanie's memories.

"I don't want to talk about her," she said, not looking at him.

"I just need to know," Jared said. "Anything else you remember."

'I've told you enough," Wanda said. Truthfully, the reason was selfish. She didn't want to talk about Melanie because the more she talked, Wanda felt like her own self would slip away and disappear. If she told him about everything she remembered about Melanie, she worried she'd forget herself, much like those scary moments after she'd just woken up when she didn't even know herself.

Part of her did want to tell him, though, which was what angered her the most. That small voice in her head that told her to just give in and tell him – to stop being so selfish and let the memories out. But that felt dangerous and she ignored the whispers as much as she could.

"Wanda…" Jared pleaded. His hand was still on her arm and he tried to pull her closer, but Wanda pulled away.

"Just go away, Jared," she said. "I'm not talking to you."

Jared, however, didn't seem convinced he was done. "I just need to—"

All of a sudden, Jared stopped talking. Wanda looked up to see Ian standing at the door.

"You heard her, Howe. Get out, or I'll do it myself," Ian said, giving Jared a look.

Jared's shoulders sank. He let go of Wanda and walked out of the room, his eyes cast down. Wanda felt an enormous amount of relief at Jared's departure, though it was mixed with the strangest sense of disappointment. She hated herself for feeling like that, but her heart seemed to have other ideas about what she felt.

"Are you okay?" Ian asked. He was still stood at the door, his eyes fixed on her.

"I'm okay," she said. "Just glad he's gone."

"Jared shouldn't have done that. I can talk to Jeb about keeping him away from you, if you want."

"Thanks," Wanda said. "But you don't have to."

"I'll go now," Ian said and turned to leave.

"No," Wanda said and Ian froze. "Stay, please."

Ian turned around and gave her a small smile. He sat down on the chair beside her bed and Wanda turned to face him.

"How are you coping?" he asked her before she could say anything.

"I'm doing okay. It's strange though … I don't know how to take all of this in," she admitted.

"It is a lot. I remember my first days here. I didn't want to believe it, but it wasn't something I could ignore…" he said but didn't continue.

"Can you tell me about what bought you here? If you don't mind, that is."

"No, it's fine. It's just a long story," he said.

Wanda stretched out her arms. "I've got nothing but time."

Ian smiled and then took a deep breath. "It started back with my brother, Kyle. At the time, he was dating this girl called Jodi and he was really gone, even asked to marry her. Not like my brother at all, if you knew him. Then one day, she just vanished," Ian paused, as if lost in thought.

"Did he find her?" Wanda prompted.

"No," Ian said as he ran a hand through his hair. "I thought he was just crazy, that Jodi had just ran off, maybe even gotten cold feet. But Kyle was insistent – I'd never seen him so worked up about anything in my life. He just wanted to find her, but nothing turned up."

"Then how does Jeb come into this?"

"Kyle found him somehow. I don't know exactly, but one day he just comes to me and tells me this wild story about organ 'donors' and these organised kidnappings for healthy parts, so to speak. He told me that someone had found proof of this happening and he thinks Jodi was taken. I didn't believe him, not then anyway."

"What changed your mind?" she asked curiously and wondered what exactly had prompted someone like Ian to believe in this awful truth.

"Jeb did, actually. He came to me one day, told me that he was working with Kyle and just wanted to talk. I decided to listen and he showed me proof, took me to the Soul Institute and I saw it."

"Saw what?"

"The trucks – they were everywhere and all of them carried people. Or parts of them, anyway," Ian said and shook his head as if he hoped to rid himself of the memory. He didn't look her in the eye. "They were all boxes of organs. I've seen enough of those at work, but this was so much."

"That's awful," Wanda said.

"I'm glad he showed me. I wouldn't have believed him otherwise. Sometimes you just have to see to believe."

"I get that. I thought I was going crazy until I saw Jared for real," she said.

Ian looked up at her. "It must be so strange. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you."

"It's … complicated, I guess. I just wish he'd leave me alone. I don't want to talk about her. It makes me forget me. I feel like if I talk about her, I'll forget myself."

Ian placed a hand on her arm. "You won't," he said. "You're better than that."

Wanda shook her head. "I used to wake up, after those dream-memories and think I was her. I didn't know myself. Talking about her only makes it worse. Because it feels so real and sometimes, I just have a hard time believing Melanie's memories aren't my own."

"You're as real as she is – was. Don't let a dead girl rule your life, Wanda."

"It feels like it. Everything that's happened is because of her. I'm not a person to Jared. I'm just a memory bank," she said, unable to avoid the awful way her voice broke when she talked about Jared. It felt too much like heartbreak.

"You love him," Ian observed and removed his hand from her arm. She felt the absence of his touch.

"No, she does. I just remember it. It's just hard, separating myself from her. I don't know how."

Ian looked her in the eye. "You'll figure it out Wanda."

* * *

 

"Get me the body," Dr Ford ordered and the nurses around him dispersed, rushing to follow his orders. Dr Ford wasn't the kind of person most people wanted to disobey. "And get the EEG set up."

"Are you sure about this?" Dr Greene asked, watching him carefully. He seemed so sure about this, but she wasn't – there was no way any of this could be a good idea.

"This is what we have to do," he replied. "Seeker has told us what to do and I intend to figure this mess out."

Noticing his frustration, she chose her next words carefully. "I'm just worried we could do some damage with all of this. I don't want to ruin the only link we have."

Ford just looked at her, irritated. "Don't act like that's such a loss. Look, I know this might be hard for you, but you're just going to have to deal with it."

Dr Greene sighed. "I knew the subject. She was my patient."

"Well this isn't her," Ford said. "This is just research – think of it like that if it helps you. They're subjects, not people."

"They didn't sign up for this," Dr Greene said.

"And neither did we – no one could predict this. What we have to do now is just figure out this mess," he replied and looked away and focused back on his tablet, a move that signalled the argument as over.

Just as she was about to bite back with another comment, the nurses came back in with the 'body'. She watched in fascination as they wheeled it –  _her_ , Dr Green reminded herself – in along with the various life-support machines. The girl's chest rose and fell in time with the beeps on the breathing machine.

She looked pale and sickly; the months without proper light were taking their toll. She could have been beautiful, a vibrant young woman, but she was here, lying in that bed with no idea what was happening to her. Her dark hair was a stark contrast with her skin, which looked too unnaturally pale compared to the pictures she'd seen. No wonder Ford had called her a body – she barely looked alive. Not that she was exactly alive. This girl hung somewhere between life and death – neither here nor there.

Dr Greene wondered who she was before all of this. Who was this girl before she got tangled up in this mess? And more important, how much did she know? Dr Seeker hadn't said much, but she got the idea there was something the girl knew - something that had made her dangerous.

"Right," Dr Ford said and everyone snapped to attention. "Is the EEG ready to do?"

"Yes, Doctor," said one of the nurses. "It's all good."

"Then let's begin," he said and tapped at his tablet, the screen shifting from its scattering of medical records of the patient and to the EEG app.

After a long moment, the frequencies began recording on the screen. Dr Greene watched over Dr Fords shoulder as it happened. She didn't personally know too much about such a process, but she knew that what showed up couldn't have been possible. Not in a situation like this.

"Are you sure everything is in check?" she asked.

Dr Ford pursed his lips. "The machine is fine. The body however, is something else entirely."

"Is it a side effect or the cause?" she asked, her eyes fixed on the screen.

"I don't know that yet. We'll have to run a few more tests."

"Are they invasive?" she asked, feeling a burst of concern for this girl.

"They might have to be," was all Ford said. "Don't get sentimental on me now, Pamela. This isn't something we can just pick and choose about. There are orders to obey."

Dr Green stayed silent. To distract herself, she looked up the girl's file. It seemed normal enough – no serious illness and a few records of prescription drugs for various illnesses. However, when she looked closer, she saw that the records promptly cut short just after the girl's eleventh birthday. There was nothing else after that, bar the record of her nearly a decade later – when she was supposed to have 'died'.

"Dr Greene," Ford called and she looked up, but not before she caught the girl's name and committed it to memory: Melanie Stryder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well now that cat's out of the bag. But is the bag empty? Nope. Like I said, I have plans (and speaking of, I think this thing will be around 40 chapters all up. If not that, then at least 35 - turns out I have more plot than I thought I did).
> 
> Anyway, this probably would've been done sooner but I've rediscovered what it means to have a library card along with my generally obscene book-buying habits and I've ended up reading 30-odd books this month. Don't ask me how I managed that.
> 
> So yeah, reviews are always welcome, especially in response to this turn of events. I love seeing your reactions and theories.


	12. Twelve

"We're doing everything we can, Mrs Reyes. Please, calm down."

"I will not be calm," Anna snapped at the employee. A week ago, she might have felt bad about doing something like that. Now, she didn't care. These people deserved to know they were failing her. Failing Wanda.

She knew the statistics. The more time that went by, the less her chances were of ever seeing her daughter again. No progress had been made, as far as anyone would say – or rather, it was in what they didn't say. They said nothing about the search efforts, only that they were "going ahead" and "seeking out possibilities". None of that meant anything to her – not unless they had found her daughter already.

"We at the Soul Institute are well aware of how hard this time must be, but you need to remain calm if you wish to remain on the premises. Any threat to employees or otherwise will not be tolerated," the calm, blank-faced employee said. He looked inhuman.

Anna bit back a string of curses and took a deep breath in an attempt to give the illusion of calm. She'd gotten good at that recently, keeping away prying eyes, anyone who might see how awfully she was coping. At a time like this, she needed to remain strong.

"Thank you, Mrs Reyes. Unfortunately, I don't have any news of your daughter's whereabouts," the employee said, continuing his speech from before she'd interrupted him. "But rest assured we're doing everything within our power to find her. We're collaborating with a taskforce dedicated to these kinda of delicate situations."

"Delicate situations?" she asked and wondered if there was something they'd failed to mention her before. Her heart started to beat faster as she thought of all the terrible possibilities.

"Yes, a missing patient is a dangerous situation. We don't know where they are or if they have access to the proper care. This means we're putting every effort to find your daughter."

"I want to speak to the media," Anna interrupted. "If we're going to do everything we can, people need to know. Maybe someone knows something."

"I'm afraid I'm unable to organise that myself, but I will speak to my boss about such a matter. Maybe we can arrange something. But now, I must advise against any rash actions. We don't know who might have her."

Anna nodded, not trusting herself to respond in words.

"Thank you for your cooperation, Mrs Reyes. We'll update you on our progress as soon as we can," the employee said and went back to tapping on his tablet. Anna took that as her cue to leave.

"You better," she said fiercely as she walked out the door.

* * *

She knows it was a mistake to have kept the girl alive like this, to have even tried to keep any of them alive. It was once the perfect safety net, but now it had become a great weakness. Everything she'd ever worked for could all come falling down thanks to this one girl. The fragility of it all made her want to scream.

If everything fell apart now, there would be nothing she could do to stop it. All her instincts told her to kill the girl and have it done, but every time she came close to the life support, the pacemaker control and all, she couldn't do it. The mystery was too much.

She had to know how this worked – what mistake or act of some deity had done this. Was it simply science? Or something more ancient than any of them knew? There needed to be answers, and with them, a solution to this problem.

* * *

It doesn't take Wanda long to go back to a rhythm, with Ian. He's not there as often as he was when she was in the hospital, but those moments she gets to spend with him are priceless. More and more, she finds herself anticipating his visits. He'd take her out walking around the compound and kept her entertained, starving off impending boredom at the lack of things to do.

He was also one of the few people that were nice to her here. Wanda wasn't blind; she knew it well when people didn't like her, but what hurt was that it felt unprecedented. None of this was her fault. If anything, she considered herself something of an unwitting participant.

"Don't worry about them," Ian said one day after an older woman had stared Wanda down while she and Ian walked by.

"I can't help it," Wanda said. "I don't want them to hate me."

"They don't hate you. It's just … they don't see you yet. It'll take them a while to adjust."

"I just wish they weren't so quick to judge," Wanda fumed. "I didn't ask for this!"

"They think you were in on it," Ian replied. "A lot of people here do too. They've lost people because of this."

"I get that," Wanda said, thinking of Jared and how grief had altered him in the wake of Melanie's death. Even now, it was hard to reconcile that soft, kind Jared in Melanie's memories with the person she'd met.

"It's just a hard truth to adjust to," Ian said. "They've thought of you all as monsters that it's hard to change perspectives, but they will."

"I just wish it wasn't like this," Wanda sighed. She was tired of the way people looked at her. It was worse than the pity she'd gotten from strangers on the street back in the days when she'd been able to go out, after things were bad but before they were at their worst. When she looked like a sick girl.

"Things will change," Ian said firmly. "I know you can make a difference here. The more everyone sees the truth, things will change."

"I wish I knew more," Wanda said. Over the past few days, she'd been having more dreams, but they'd been useless fragments of memory from Melanie's childhood, all things she wasn't sure added up to anything important. The whole thing was frustrating her.

"It will come," Ian said confidently.

"We don't know if it will," Wanda said. "I just wish it could be more useful stuff. I don't want to know about her pet hamster or bike riding experiences."

"The rest has come, hasn't it?" Ian said. "This has to come."

"But what if it doesn't?" Wanda said. "What if I never remember?"

"Then that will be fine," Ian said, though she knew he'd have to be disappointed at that result. Wanda was aware of what could be at stake of she remembered what Melanie knew, if she could crack the secrets that her new heart had given her. Things would change, she was sure of it.

"It won't be," Wanda said. "I'll be useless."

"You're never useless," Ian said. The words came out so casually in response that Wanda almost stopped short. She looked up at him. He looked like he'd accidentally said too much.

"Thanks," she said, feeling a strange, new warmth in her chest that had nothing to do with any heart problems.

"It's okay," Ian said. She thought he looked a little red, but dismissed it. Ian was just being a friend, even if she might have felt something more, that didn't mean he did. He was just being kind.

Or at least that what she told herself. It didn't mean she didn't hope otherwise.

* * *

_Melanie ran, her heart beating too fast in her chest as she moved. Fear kept her going and she raced as fast as she could, trying to ignore the distant sound of approaching sirens._

Too close _, she told herself. The job was supposed to have been simple, but somehow the beefed-up security had shown up anyway. She was going to kill Oakland when she saw him next._

_Eventually, Melanie spotted a house with a bright blue letter box, a beacon in the dark. She slowed and walked up to the door, trying to look as casual as possible._

_Melanie knocked on the door._

_A man opened the door. He looked about fifty and wore a rumpled business shirt. She wondered if she'd accidentally interrupted his sleep._

" _I need help," she said._

" _Then come in," he replied. "You can stay here an hour, then you need to go."_

_Melanie nodded. She could deal with an hour. "That's fine," she replied._

" _This way," he said, letting her in. He motioned for her to follow him. He led her into a bedroom with a bright yellow comforter on the bed. There were several posters of the same boy band on the wall and a framed picture of a fifteen year old girl on the bedside table._

_The room looked like a memorial of sorts, everything too perfect; an idealised image of what a girls' room was supposed to be._

_Melanie noticed the look in the man's eyes. She wondered how long ago it had been when he'd lost his daughter. She also wondered why exactly. What had compelled them to take a daughter of a man like this? Was she a runaway?_

" _If you use the bed, please make it again," was all the man said before leaving her._

_Melanie stood in the middle of the room, feeling like the ghost in someone else's life._

Who were you? Why were you taken?  _She thought, trying to look for a clue in the room. Just being in her made her feel a potent mix of anger and determination, the desire to see them burn for what they'd done here. They'd ripped a family apart – and all for their own selfish gain._

 _Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and looked at the text. It was from Jared, a simple_ are you okay?

I'm fine _, she texted back._

Good _, he replied._ Will you be back soon?

I hope so. I'm not too far away.

_Jared then texted a smiley face and an x, which she assumed was supposed to be a kiss. The gesture was sweet and made her smile, momentarily pushing all thoughts about the girl who once used this room._

_Sometime later, sirens blared past the house and Melanie breathed a sigh of relief. The man opened the door and looked at her expectantly._

" _Thanks," she said._

" _It's the least I could do," he said and looked sadly at the picture of his daughter._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes! I'm back again and you're not dreaming. Anyway, I did want to post this sooner but the middle chunk of this chapter was refusing to get written and then I had to try and resolve the ending to another fic which ended up being a ridiculous 16k out of a planned 10k.
> 
> Anyway, I'm feeling super productive today (this is the thirds fic I've updated today. woo) and I'm hoping I can update at least once more in the next few days or so. Christmas is getting closer though and my social calendar has started to exist again so I'm busy a lot. But I'll try anyway, especially now I've got some other fics out of the way.
> 
> So yeah, reviews and such are always welcome. It's nice hearing from you, even in small ways.


	13. Thirteen

After spending so long cooped up in Jeb's library of paperwork proof, it felt strange to be outside. The sun felt hot on his skin and the breeze almost too much to handle.

But he was out here anyway, watching Wanda – watching the one piece of Melanie he had slip away and disappear. It felt like it was all falling through his fingers; the thing he'd worked so hard to find wasn't staying.

Of course, he knew Wanda was her own person, but she was also Melanie – or a part of her was and that was damn well more than he thought he'd ever have back. Something of her still lived. It made him strangely thankful of this twisted world that had allowed that to happen.

He watched Wanda laugh with Ian, smile at him and talk openly. He wished that it was him. He wished she was Mel. But she wasn't and she was. That was the problem.

Jared didn't know what to do about that. Part of him wanted to be with her, the rest reminded him about how much she wasn't Mel, even as his mind drew parallels. Wanda laughed the same way. Liked the same cop drama. Loved and hated the same kind of foods – all those little things, hints of Melanie Stryder, bleeding through.

He didn't know what to do with himself.

Later, after Wanda had left, he decided to talk to Ian. They hadn't been on good terms, especially since Ian had found out what Jared had done. But if anyone could help him figure this out, it was Ian. He had spent the most time with Wanda. He knew her.

"Hey," he called out as Ian walked passed, dressed in scrubs. It looked like he was getting ready for a shift.

"Hi," Ian said warily.

Jared took a deep breath. "I just want to talk. I'm not planning to drag you into anything again."

Ian relaxed slightly, but the suspicion was still there. "This is about Wanda," he stated.

"And Melanie," Jared added.

"You need to move on," Ian said before Jared could even say a word of the speech he had planned.

"She's not gone," Jared replied.

"Melanie is dead, Jared. You can't keep holding on to a ghost like this," Ian said.

"She's not a ghost. She's there," Jared argued. How could Ian not see this? Surely Jeb had talked about her to Ian. There were stories he had to have mentioned.

"They're just memories, Jared," Ian replied. "Nothing more."

"You don't know that," Jared insisted, reflexive anger starting to bloom in his chest.

"Wanda is a person, Jared. Not a thing you can shape into whatever the hell you want."

"I'm not. I know Melanie is in there, somewhere. I just need to get her to remember more."

"You won't do shit," Ian said. "Wanda doesn't need your psycho bullshit. You can't change her."

Jared feels ready to explode. How can Ian be so blind to the truth? He'd understood something of the reluctance to help him get Wanda out of the hospital, but surely he had to have seen the truth in this.

"She was dead anyway," Jared spat out. "She owes everything to Melanie."

"That," Ian said coolly, "was not her fault. She's a victim in all of this."

"Like Melanie was a victim?" The words exploded out of him, unable to be stopped, even if he'd wanted to do so. "Ian, they  _killed_ her. All they gave Wanda was a life that she didn't need."

"Wanda didn't ask for any of this and she sure as hell doesn't need you harassing her, Jared. Just leave her alone until you've finally decided to be a fucking civil human being. You're lucky Jeb is letting you stay here."

The anger made Jared see red and he tightened his fists, nails biting into skin. Suddenly, everything was too much.

He needed to get out of here.

"I'm not going to give up on Melanie. I can't forget her," Jared said. "I  _won't_."

"I didn't say—" Ian began, but Jared didn't want to hear it. He had to get out of here.

His heart pounded in his chest. Suddenly, it was all clear. He had to find her. Or whatever was left. Something had to be done, even if no one else was going to do it. They hadn't thanked him when he'd found Wanda, even after he'd given them to her. His efforts went unappreciated, and even worse, scorned.

He didn't know what he should do yet. Getting out was the first step. The rest, Jared resolved, would be worked out in the morning.

 

* * *

 

When she woke up, Wanda's head wouldn't stop aching. The memory of staying in that house, of being Melanie on the run played over and over again in her mind. It felt like she'd been given a puzzle without all the pieces, being handed fragments at a time and never quite the ones she needed. It was out of order and chaotic, dream and memory fusing together until she couldn't tell them apart.

And all of it still scared her like hell. Nobody could ever really explain what was going on or how it was even possible. Which meant nobody would know how to fix it. Maybe she'd be stuck like this, eventually losing parts of herself as Melanie's memories took over. Maybe she'd forget herself entirely one day, wake up and forget to remember who she really was.

Ian came in later that morning and found her curled up in her bed, knees pressed on her cheeks. She's still shaking, but relaxes when she feels him place a hand carefully on her back.

"Are you okay?" Ian asked. "Did Jared try to see you?"

"What? No," she said with a shake of her head. "I just had another dream."

Ian sat down on the bed beside her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I—she was running from someone," Wanda began. "The fear she felt … it went deep. She did hide in some man's house. He had a daughter who was taken. I— _she_  was in the girl's room. Wondered what had happened."

"They tale anyone," Ian said softly. "We've found that sometimes, if someone is causing them trouble, people they love go missing and eventually, they do too if they don't stop. We've lost people that way."

"Was Jodie one of them?" Wanda asked carefully.

"We think she might have been," Ian said. "But there's never any proof of where she went."

"I'm sorry," Wanda said.

"It's done now," Ian said, "but what about your dream? Was there anything else there?"

"She just texted Jared, like this was all so normal to her."

"Melanie did a lot," Ian said and Wanda was once again reminded of how much history there was with Melanie in it – how even though she'd never been able to get to this place, there was a whole life she'd lived and devoted to this cause. "Jared really doesn't know much about it."

"Maybe he does," Wanda said, even though she doubted the words even as she spoke them. No matter what Melanie felt for him, she would keep secrets, perhaps to protect him. Or maybe she didn't trust him that much.

"I don't think so," Jared said. "He knew the truth and that this place existed, but he didn't know about whatever she was doing. Melanie must have kept a lot of it from him."

"I hate this," Wanda said. "I know she has all of this information, but I don't remember any of it. I should have gotten something by now."

"It will come," he said, echoing his earlier words with the same confidence.

"Maybe I should talk to him anyway," she said. "There could be something he knows but just doesn't realise it."

"Are you sure you want to talk to him?"

"I don't want to, but I think I have to," Wanda said. "I want to be sure about this."

"I'll come with you," Ian said. "Do you want to go now?"

"Better get it over with," Wanda replied. Truthfully, she still was confused about Jared. Seeing him both as he was and as he is, it was intensely confusing. Part of her felt like she could've loved Jared, that maybe this mess of emotions inside of her was in part some kind of romantic feelings for him. But there was also Ian – Ian who was nothing but kind to her and saw  _her_ , not a vessel for memories of some other girl.

Ian held out his hand and she took it, acutely aware of the places in which their skin touched. The feeling was oddly electric. He led her out, moving slowly so she could keep up. Though she felt stronger every day, Wanda knew that she still wasn't quite up at the level that would mean she could easily keep up with everyone else.

"He should be in the library," Ian said, opening a door. "While we've been here, it's the only place he really goes. I think he might sleep in here sometimes."

Inside the room was stacks and stacks of paper, all kinds of files and copied documents from what Wanda could see. It looked messy, but there seemed to be some method of organisation amongst the stacks. She wondered if that was Jeb or Jared's efforts.

"Jared?" Ian called out, but he was met with silence.

Wanda called out his name too, but there was no answer.

"I don't think he's here," Ian said, frowning.

"Maybe he's out somewhere else," Wanda said.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Ian said with a shake of his head. "I was talking to him before about you and he seemed to get a little hot headed and—"

"He was talking about me?" Wanda interrupted.

Ian looked back over at her. "Yeah, he was back on his crazy tangent again. Still thinks he can turn you into Melanie or something."

Wanda felt her stomach curl. "I see," she said.

"He's messed up, Wanda," Ian said. "I'm not saying I'm excusing his actions, but I don't think he's who he was before Mel died. Greif changes people and I think this has given him some sick sense of hope."

"I wish I'd never gotten this damn heart," Wanda said, anger rising hotly. Her cheeks flushed with it. "I'd rather be dead."

"Don't say that," Ian said, turning to her and looking down at her. "You're not to blame here. That's all on Jared and the people who gave this heart to you under false pretences. You took what you thought was a give – what should've been a gift."

Wanda sighed. "It's nothing but trouble."

"But you don't have to deal with it alone," Ian sad softly.

"Thanks," she said. "But we need to focus now. Where is Jared?"

"I don't know where he could've done," Ian said. "But I don't think he's here."

"Well obviously."

"I meant in the complex. He might've run away."

"That's not good, I take it?"

"Not good. I'm not sure what they know about Melanie, but they might know about him. From what Jeb's told me, Jared was pretty relentless after Melanie was taken in to the hospital."

"Did you ever find out how she died?" Wanda asked.

"I'm not sure. Jared doesn't seem like he has much of an idea either," Ian said, "but I know he blames them completely."

"He has a right to," Wanda said, though she wasn't sure why she felt like she needed to defend Jared.

"I never said he didn't, but maybe it wasn't their fault entirely," Ian said. "I mean, we don't know but maybe…"

Wanda nodded. Truthfully, she never liked to give much thought into how Melanie was killed. The idea made her feel uncomfortable, reminding her too much of the time she'd spent contemplating her own death. As much as her parents had tried to protect her from the reality of her illness, Wanda had been aware that there was so very little time. She'd heard the things they'd told her parents when she'd pretended to be asleep, those moments when she'd been all too aware of the question mark that was placed with her lifespan.

"I just think Jared needs to consider everything, but he doesn't want to face any of that truth," Ian finished.

"I get that," Wanda said softly, trying to push away the dark spiral of thoughts and memories of her life. She suddenly felt tired.

"You should get some rest now," Ian said.

Wanda yawned. "We should look further, besides, it's barely the middle of the day."

"And I think you should take it easier. You're not completely okay just yet."

"I'm fine," she insisted. "I've been out with you."

"Yes, but there's going to be a lot more walking involved here and I don't think you're up for that kind of strain."

"I was supposed to be released already."

"Yes, but with strict instructions to not push yourself for a while, not until you got approved by your PT."

Wanda sighed. It seemed there would be no winning this one. "Okay then," she said, feeling frustrated.

"Sleep a while or something," Ian said. "I'll go and find Jeb and talk to him about this."

 

* * *

 

_There was nothing but darkness where she stood. Melanie stretched out her arms, seeking some kind of answers about the size of this room. Her fingertips scraped the wall._

They've got me good in here _, she thought, mentally trying to work out her escape route. There was a door here, she knew. Getting her in here, especially unconscious, would have required at least that._

_Normally, she wasn't claustrophobic, but the lack of detail in this space and the darkness feeling like a physical thing, made her feel panicky. Maybe she's never get out. Maybe the last time she'd see Jared was that argument, his voice cracking when he asked her why she didn't trust him to tell her what she was doing._

_Her silence as Jared drew his own conclusion in the space where her explanation should've been._

_Maybe she'd never get a chance to make it alright._

_And then there was Jamie, Jamie who would never know what happened to her. Melanie had promised so many times she'd always come back to her brother. But what if this was the day she broke that promise?_

No, you're going to get out of here, _she told herself firmly. If she believed it, maybe it could happen. After all, she had to try._

_Melanie moved closer to the wall in front of her, pressing her hands firmly against it. She slid them around, searching for some kind of handle or gap. She had to get out of here. To keep her promise to Jamie. To find a way to make thing alright with Jared._

_Suddenly, there was a flash of bright light behind her. Melanie whirled around, blinded by whatever it was._

_A hand grabbed her arm. Melanie fought back and pulled herself free. She couldn't see much now, but her eyes were slowly adjusting. The hallway in front of her was all white and smelled of cleaner, a perfectly sterile environment. Melanie took the chance and ran, realising exactly where she was._

" _Ms Stryder!" a voice called out from behind her. She ran faster, trying to follow her mental map of this place._

_Eventually, she found the green exit sign above the door to the fire escape and breathed a sigh of relief when she opened the door. From here, it was all a matter of figuring out where she was kept._

_In the stairwell, a fluorescent light flickered and buzzed, reminding Melanie of her rapid pulse. The door behind her read_ B5.  _Five floors underground._

_Melanie swore and ran up. It was exactly the way she'd be expected to go, but it was also her only escape. So really, she had no choice. There was no way in hell she'd allow herself to go deeper underground._

_It took an hour to get out of the Soul Institute and a few more to get back to Jared's, that in part because of her paranoia. She'd barely managed to make it out without being followed._

_Jared was asleep when she got back. He was lying on the couch, as if he'd been waiting up for her. A back episode of_ Do Not Cross _played on the television. She quickly moved over to Jamie's room, checking he was still okay before going to sit down beside Jared on the couch._

_Her heart was still thundering in her chest thanks to both her fear and the sprinting she'd done. Melanie leaned back against the couch and breathed out quietly, trying not to think about just how close she'd been to never coming back her._

_The idea she'd never be able to come back to Jared was unbearable and the thought of never getting the truth revealed even more so. Maybe she should tell someone, give them a hint as to what was going on, so there would be some way to keep it all alive if she got taken._

_But who could she trust with that? She looked over at Jared, but dismissed the idea. If she died, he didn't need to be caught up in this mess himself. Even though she'd told him about the Host Program, there was still too much he didn't know. And too much he didn't need to._

If I don't tell him and die, he could walk away _, she thought. Jared didn't deserve this kind of life she'd lived. He'd be better off without the fear. Not telling would be the only way she could protect him, even if all the secrecy made him think she hated him, then so be it. She'd take that in exchange for his safety._

_Suddenly, he stirred._

" _Mel?" he said sleepily._

" _I'm here," she said and turned off the television._

_He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "You're back late," he said._

" _I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have said that."_

_Jared shook his head. "It's okay," he said and moved closer to hug her. She reached out and pulled him close, burying her face in his neck, hoping he was still too tired to notice her hammering pulse. Jared kissed the top of her head and she relaxed some._

" _I'm so sorry," she repeated._

" _You already said that," Jared said._

" _I know," she said, feeling a wave of relief at his forgiveness._

_He pulled away from the embrace and studied her face with his sleepy eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked._

" _I'm fine," she said. "Let's just go to bed."_

" _Alight with me," he said and got up, his hand holding hers as he led her to the bed._

_Melanie lay down beside Jared and he reached out for her. She gave him a short, sweet kiss before pulling away._

" _Tease," he said._

" _Go back to sleep," she said. "Jamie's in the other room anyway."_

_Jared nodded and obliged, falling asleep almost instantly afterwards. Melanie envied his ease at falling asleep. Sleep never came easy to her, especially after a night like this. All she could think about was how close she'd come to never seeing him again, the thought that she might just lose everything she had._

_Any sane person might have backed away from all of this, but she knew that this was only the beginning of it all. There was still so much to be done and information she needed if anything was going to happen – if she was going to finally have the proof she needed before she could find Jeb._

_Melanie thought about Jamie, asleep in the other room. It had taken her so long to tell Jared about her brother. He still had no idea how much trust that move had taken. To have him think that all of this was about a lack of trust made her heart ache. She trusted him, but there was so little she could tell him now._

_Secrets still had to be kept, especially with the only proof being in her memories. But soon, she'd have something more concrete. The kind of thing Jeb needed, even if he didn't know it yet._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a short chapter. Now it's the longest I've written so far. I guess I just have way too much fun writing about Melanie's past in these dream sequences.
> 
> Anyway, I'd love to be able to update again before the end of the year, but I'm losing that time, so I won't be posting anything until early/mid January.


	14. Fourteen

It's late when Ian came in, though Jeb is still awake, scanning over the more sensitive documents he's had collected. Most of them contain large amounts of blacked out text, giving only the most minimal details. But there was one thing that stuck out, a continual reference to 'the subject', all dated within the past few months. Months when Melanie was missing and eventually died. He hoped it meant something, but such hope was dangerous and there was no way he'd let himself be a fool about it. These were also things he went to extensive measures to keep hidden, lest Jared find them and demand they storm the Soul Institute. That was one situation he was hoping to avoid.

"What is it?" Jeb asked. Ian looked worried and this fact didn't settle well with Jeb. Ian did worry about many things - that was all just part of his job, but the look on Ian's face told him this was more than just the average worry.

"Jared's gone," Ian replied.

Jeb shook his head. He's not surprised by the news. "I knew he'd try eventually. That damn boy..."

"We need to find him now," Ian said.

"I know that," Jeb said. "But it's hardly a matter to discuss now, unless of course there's something else here."

"Wanda's remembering more of the important stuff," Ian said. Jeb didn't miss the fond way Ian said her name.

"And what's that?" Jeb asked, trying not to sound too fascinated. As awful as the circumstances were, Jeb still felt Wanda's particular skill was a blessing. In his life, Jeb thought he'd seen everything, but Wanda surprised him. Of all the things he'd read about organ donors and the idea of cellular memory, Jeb had never heard of anything as vivid as what Wanda experienced.

It had, despite himself, made him hope that maybe Melanie wasn't quite as dead as he thought. Maybe there was something more to this, though he didn't say a word about it. God knows what that would've done if he said anything about his suspicions to Jared.

"Melanie in a safe house," Ian said and then explained the memory. Jeb knew the guy, a Doctor Martin Parrish who'd lost his daughter, Naomi, after the Soul Institute had punished him for a reason he refused to say. This was also one of the last times he'd heard about Melanie's location before she'd vanished completely from his radar before coming up again, dead.

"Then she must be starting to remember more serious things," Jeb said.

Ian nodded. "We need to find Jared, before anyone else does."

"I understand that, Ian," Jeb said. He knows the Soul Institute have probably been tracking Jared and if they're smart enough, they might just put two and two together, working out where he's been and what's he's done. "They'll want someone like him."

"I shouldn't have let him go," Ian said.

"Don't blame yourself," Jeb replied. "Jared made his own damn mistakes and it figures he'd pull another like this. All you need to do is focus on finding him."

Jeb put away the blacked-out documents. At least there was something else to be done now beyond the monotony of reading more of the same damn useless stuff. As much as he hoped the answers would come easily, he knew there had to be an awful lot of looking first.

* * *

 

The hospital was Ian's best bet to find Jared, but there's no trace of him there. It strikes him at that point just how little he knew Jared. Despite knowing so much about his girlfriend, Jared himself is pretty blank. There's little he knows that doesn't relate to Melanie.

He wondered what kind of person Jared was before her, or during. Wanda did tell him Jared was different, but he has a hard time imagining him as anything but the serious, obsessive individual he is now.

Ian shook his head. He of all people should know how loved ones can change a person. He'd seen it so clearly with Kyle and Jodie. Kyle, who was perpetually awful but changed after he met Jodie who was perhaps his complete opposite, but fell in love with him all the same. Now, of course, Kyle was back to being as awful as he ever was, perhaps more so after the loss of Jodie. Ian didn't know what was worse—Kyle before Jodie, or after, when he'd been able to witness Kyle as a better person.

Not for the first time, he wondered who Melanie really was. He'd seen enough in Wanda, but he'd never met Melanie in person. She was just a story for long, at first told with a hope she'd return, but now she was hardly ever mentioned without reference to the loss her death had been. Was she a good person? He knew she was passionate about the cause, but then again, so was Kyle and he was hardly the pinnacle of good. But whoever Melanie was, there was the undeniable fact that Jared had loved her and been altered by that loss.

But even so, that didn't excuse the fact that Jared had basically kidnapped a girl because of his own messed-up perceptions. Loss or not, Ian wasn't sure he could forgive that for what he did. Wanda was just a person too and she didn't deserve what had been put on her. She should've just been able to live out the life she was supposed to, not be here in this mess.

When he'd first seen her at the hospital, just a glimpse of her before she'd been shuttled off to surgery, she looked every bit as sick as her chart had proclaimed. How she'd managed to survive so long with the heart she had was a miracle in itself, he knew. Most people wouldn't have made it as far as Wanda, but somehow, she did anyway.

And she was supposed to be able to live now; to all of those things she'd never been able to do while she had her own failing heart. Jared had taken that away from her when he'd made that move to take her.

Ian kind of hated him for it.

* * *

That night, the dreams came to Wanda in fragments.

First—

" _Are you ever going to tell me where you go? I know you don't stay here all the time." Jared asked her._

_Melanie pursed her lips. As much as she wanted to tell him, keeping Jamie safe was the most important thing. If Jared though she was just a loner, it was fine. Letting him know about the brother she had to feed would be a whole other matter._

" _Just around," she told him. It was better this way, she told herself. Though Jared hadn't proven himself untrustworthy yet, Melanie knew she still had to be careful. If Jared_

" _I hope it's not to other boy's houses, stealing their food," he joked, though Melanie knew he was hurt._

" _No, not like that," she said, shaking her head a smiling at the joke._

Then—

" _You have a brother?" Jared said. "Where is he?"_

" _Safe," Melanie replied. "I didn't know how well I could trust you before."_

_Jared seemed hurt. "You told me about all that other stuff, but not your brother?"_

" _Don't you see? All of that was exactly why I didn't tell you. I had no idea how well I could trust you before now."_

" _I could've called the cops on you that first night! But I didn't!"_

" _I'm telling you now, aren't I?" Melanie said with a sigh. "I just didn't know what else to do, okay? Jamie has always been the most important thing. He's just a kid."_

" _Can I meet him, sometime?"_

" _In time," Melanie said. "I mean, he's probably asleep now."_

" _Why doesn't he stay here? I mean, this is my place. It might be safer than where he is now."_

_Melanie sighed. "I guess he can."_

And—

_Melanie ran._

" _Get her!" a voice called out from behind Melanie._

_She ran faster. Her heart beat in her chest to the point where she thought it might explode. How could she have been so stupid?_

_She'd already been caught once. Maybe this was it._

Don't think like that _, she told herself._ You'll get back home. Focus on that.

_Footsteps echoed behind her in the too-white halls. They were getting closer and closer. Maybe this was the end of—_

Lastly—

_Everything was dark, but Melanie could still hear. This room was much like one she'd been in before, all those times she'd ended up in the darkness. It could've been any of those times, but this time they'd restrained her. The bindings on her wrist dug in tightly. They were smarter than before, she had to give them that, but unfortunately this meant no easy escape._

_Her heart pounded in her chest, the fear more and more intense with every second that passed. She had no idea if she'd be able to get out of this one alive. They'd caught her good this time._

_Melanie wanted to cry, but she knew tears wouldn't help. Crying never solved anything. It always amounted to more hurt._

_Suddenly, there was a flash of light as the door opened, but it was brief. "Ms Stryder, it's nice to finally meet you," a cool, feminine voice said._

" _Go to hell," she spat and tried again, futilely, to break free. Someone tugged the restraints tighter. They dug deeper into the skin of her wrists, almost drawing blood. Absently, she wondered how long it would take for necrosis to set in on her fingers if they kept this up._

" _Don't struggle, it will only make things worse," the voice said. Melanie felt a hand on her head, smoothing down her hair._

" _Don't touch me again," Melanie replied and tried to twist away from the fingers._

" _Just rest now," the voice said and there was a short, sharp prick on her arm._

" _You fucking can't…" Melanie tried to continue, but the threat died on her lips as whatever she'd been given started to set in._

_Suddenly, everything floated away and Melanie began to drift._

_._

_._

_._

_._

" _Are you sure about this? She's very young."_

" _But old enough, Doctor. We need bodies like hers."_

" _I know that, but she is young. Won't someone notice?"_

" _She's not the kind that will be noticed when she's gone."_

_._

_._

_._

_._

" _Is it time?"_

" _Yes, we're on."_

" _God, I hate this job."_

" _It's not that bad. We could be stuck at a fucking desk all day."_

" _True enough. Now, hand me the scalpel."_

_._

_._

_._

_._

" _Hey we got a flat—oh, no it's on."_

" _Thank god. Dr Seeker would probably have our heads we killed her."_

" _I wonder if she's still conscious in there, like they say with coma patients."_

" _Doubtful. There's some pretty heavy stuff in her system. Even if she can hear or think much of anything, she won't ever remember any of it."_

" _Is she going to be woken? God, I don't want to do one of those."_

" _I don't think so. This one's young, so we'll see. Take her to the others."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm finally back with another chapter (life happened and well, y'know the rest). I know this wasn't a very big action-y chapter, but I promise you there's a lot to come in the next few chapters. In fact, I'll try to have the next chapter up within the next few days, so stay tuned.
> 
> But yeah, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter and what you think might happen (I mean, I know, but it's nice to see what you're thinking).


	15. Fifteen

Jared was in a diner when he heard Wanda's parents on the news. He wasn't exactly sure where he is, only that it's far, far away from everything else.

"…Missing girl, Wanda Reyes, who went missing from her hospital bed just last week, has been confirmed to be a kidnapping victim of a yet-unnamed terrorist faction, protesting against the advancements made by the medical researchers at the Soul Institute. Mr and Mrs Reyes were heard earlier today making a statement on the issue," the reporter said on screen, all serious as the screen cut to an image of a man and a woman, Wanda's parents.

The woman was the one who spoke first. "I just want my daughter to come home. She's got nothing to do with any of this," she said. There was something fragile about her, even as she stood there as tall as she could. "Please, let her go."

"I just want to see my little girl again," Wanda's father said softly from beside his wife. Jared felt an ache in his chest. It wasn't ever going to be that easy for him, especially after Mel died.

He remembered the day all too clearly. They'd been coming home from a quiet night out when a man across the street had called out her name and began to move towards them. From there, it happened so fast.

Melanie looked him in the eye and told him she needed to go—that they were finally coming for her and she needed to get out now and Jamie would be safe. She kissed his cheek and murmured a goodbye, then ran off down the street at a lighting-fast pace. He barely even had time to process what had happened when the man that had called her out pushed past him and ran after Melanie.

Jared had tried so hard to follow along, but he wasn't fast enough to keep up with the two of them. After a few blocks, he'd lost them both. He'd gone home after that, hoping Melanie would return when the night was over. Jamie wasn't anywhere to be found, just like she'd said.

Then the phone call had come. At first, he'd been excited and picked it up in a rush, but soon that excitement soured. It was the hospital calling, saying Melanie had been in a bad accident and that he needed to get down there immediately.

He'd gone over without a second thought. That was where he'd gotten the news: Melanie was dead. Apparently, she'd gone and jumped out of a window, but she hadn't survived much longer after that. But that hadn't been the worst part—the worst of it was when they'd told him she was going to be sent off to the Soul Institute for their Host Program. Jared had tried to stop it, but nobody would listen to him. They said it had all been her choice—that she'd chosen this path.

Just thinking about it, even now, made him angry. She didn't deserve any of this. What Melanie deserved was a proper burial.

"Authorities are urging anyone with information to call the number on the screen if they have any information regarding her disappearance," the reporter said on screen, jolting Jared out of his thoughts.

As the news switched over to the weather report, a plan started to form in his mind. He'd go the Soul Institute and get her body back. Maybe he'd even call Kyle and his friends. They would be willing to help, even if Jeb refused.

 _I'll find her,_  he resolved.  _I found Jeb. I can find her_.

* * *

 

Holland didn't want to be in the diner. In fact, if he had his way, he'd have been far, far way from all of this. But it seemed the higher-ups weren't going to be satisfied with him just taking off and making use of his newly implanted and functional liver. No, he'd been hauled out here like some lackey, to find a guy someone half-saw in the darkness. Sure, whoever it was might have been important to, but Holland wasn't in the business of looking for ghosts.

Rather appropriately, the story was on the news, with the reporter hamming it up as intended by the network. It was all anyone could talk about now, especially with the press conference released earlier in the day. It had trended on twitter, topping every other pointless trend.

He glanced around the diner, assessing the patrons as he sipped his subpar coffee. Most of them were just regular people, relaxing after a long day's work, but one caught his eye. This guy was young, perhaps a few years older than the Reyes girl. There was something familiar about him, about the hard expression on his face. Holland felt like he'd seen this boy's photograph somewhere before.

He closed his eyes and sifted through the faces related to this case that they'd let him see.

It hit him a moment later: this was the boyfriend of Melanie Stryder. As far as the records went, it seemed he didn't know much about what Melanie had known, so they'd ignored him.

 _But maybe they shouldn't have_ , Holland thought and looked to the angry boy. It made sense. The boy had been quite attached to the girl and maybe he'd be crazy enough to kidnap a girl just because she had some part of his ex-girlfriend.

Holland got up and made a call, standing just so they boy is still in the corner of his vision.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end said when they picked up. He still had no idea if this was a real person or some automation.

"I've found him," he said.

"Thank you for your call," the voice on the other end said.

Now, it was time to make good use of his new liver.

* * *

 

Dr Seeker had been anticipating the news. With all her eyes and ears around the city, she knew something would happen eventually.

"Holland found him," the assistant reported.

"Excellent. Forward the location to security." Dr Seeker nodded and dismissed the assistant.

"What do we do now?" Dr Ford asked her.

"We extract him and bring him here. It's the only option."

"Are you sure?" Dr Green asked. Dr Seeker resisted the urge to snap at the woman. Sure, she was effective, but sometimes her heart was too soft. Dr Seeker knew better than them all the toll of too much attachment.

It was fatal.

She hoped it wouldn't come to that with Dr Green. People as clever as her were hard to find.

"This boy had a connection with the subject. He's also been absent from his old home, address changed, but not listed. There's a postal box, but that's not sufficient."

"He might just have moved."

"He knows where they are. And we need to find out what he knows," Dr Seeker said.

"Do you want me to prepare the girl?" Dr Ford asked. "She could be useful."

"Yes, we'll need her," Dr Seeker replied. It's a smart idea, one of the many reasons she's kept Dr Ford around for so long. He's good at what he does.

"Are you sure they won't come looking for him? Maybe this is planned," Dr Green said.

"I'm counting on that," Dr Seeker said.

* * *

 

As soon as the news was done, Jared got up and left. From there, the rest was a blur.

He'd just walked outside when he felt someone behind him. Before he could react, he felt a sharp pain on the back of his head and a wave of dizziness that made him collapse.

"Don't say a word," a masculine voice said. "Or something worse will happen."

Jared froze. He wanted to scream, or fight back somehow, but his head hurt too much. He knew he needed to do something, but what? Suddenly, he couldn't even remember why he'd left so suddenly. At least the pain had dulled now. He felt his eyes droop. He was so tired now. Maybe he should've done to sleep.

"You're coming with me," the voice said as he drifted off.

* * *

 

" _But what happens if they find you?" Jared asked Melanie._

" _Then I'll just be another spare part," she replied. "That's just how it is?"_

" _And if they figure out I'm with you? What will happen to me?"_

_She shook her head. "They won't look. Don't give them a reason to. If they call, say anything about me, don't go. They'll try to get you to say things."_

" _Things?"_

" _About me," she said carefully._

" _They'll ask me about what you know."_

" _Yeah, something like that," Melanie said. She had no idea how to tell him the truth, or if it was even possible. If he knew the truth, then it would be all the more dangerous for him and she would be damned if she let him get hurt. He didn't need to get anymore tangled up in her mess._

" _What about Jamie?" he asked her softly._

" _I'll make sure he's safe," Melanie said. "I think I can get him to uncle Jeb."_

" _You haven't even found him yet," Jared said._

" _No," she lied._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait, but I promise I'm still working on this. I would've had it up a bit sooner, but I a) didn't like the first draft and b) realised I needed to fix a few continuity errors when I went back and read it. Also, I started uni earlier this year and I got caught up in all of that and I haven't had much time for writing this. 
> 
> Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this and what you think might happen next. Also, kudos/etc are always so appreciated and thank you, dear reader, for reading this fic. You're the best.


	16. Sixteen

With every hour that Jared wasn't found, Wanda became more and more convinced the Soul Institute had somehow found him. After all she'd seen of Melanie's memories, Wanda was all-too-aware of what those people could do.

"I just don't think this is going well," Wanda told Ian after he'd gotten back from a search party. "They must've found him."

"I'm sure we'll find him," he said reassuringly.

"I think they might've. And they'll make him talk. I know they will."

"We'll find him. Wanda," Ian said. "There's a whole lot of people looking for him – he can't just disappear."

Wanda leaned her head against his shoulder. They were sitting on her bed, Wanda curled up beside him and very much aware of how close they were.

"You've seen what they've done to people who don't follow their rules – I'm even proof of that," Wanda argued.

Ian didn't reply in words, instead he put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. "I'm sure Jared is just laying low somewhere."

"I just don't think so. He's not someone they'd let go easily."

"Well, even if they haven't got him, they don't have any leverage. He won't talk."

"You don't know that, Ian. I mean, you've seen how twisted those people are – they'll find  _something_. They always do."

"I'm just trying to look on the bright side," Ian said.

"I know, and I'm glad you're hopeful, but I just don't think anything good's happened to him. Jared's not in a good way, and they'll use that."

"Well, I guess we'll have to hope they haven't found him yet."

 

* * *

 

When Jared woke up, he realised he had no idea where he was. His memory of what happened had been a blur – a man's voice, a sharp pain in the back of his skull and the bite of concrete on his hands as he fell.

He tried to assess his surroundings, but there's a startling lack of detail – there's no light, and from what he can feel, the walls and floor are a smooth. Clearly, whoever put him here doesn't want him to know where exactly he is.

"Hello Jared," a cool, clam voice said. Jared spun around, trying to locate the source, but it was hard to pinpoint.

"Where am I?" he asked, wondering if he'd get a response.

"All in good time," the voice replied, startling him. "Please remain calm for the moment."

"Why the fuck would I want to be calm?" Jared demanded.

The voice didn't respond. Jared cursed again, frustrated. There was only one conclusion to be made: They'd found him.

 _Just like they found Mel_ , he thought bitterly. Of course, it would end like this for him, before he could even do anything that mattered.

But before he could fall deeper in the well of self-pity, a door opened at the other end of the room. The light from outside was so bright that he squinted against it.

"Hello Jared," a voice said, sending a shiver down his spine. He knew that voice – heard it so many times before on television in speeches and advertisements.

This was Doctor Seeker.

 _What the hell is she doing here?_  Jared wondered. It didn't make sense for her to be here. Why would the face of the world's largest medical research company allow herself to be identified like this?

As his eyes adjusted to the light, Jared saw that Dr Seeker wasn't alone. Beside her stood a tall woman, older than Dr Seeker by at least a few decades holding a tablet. He wondered who this was.

"It's nice to finally meet you," Dr Seeker continued. She looked exactly like she had in all her advertisements – olive skin impeccably smooth, lab coat without a crease and that same pleasant smile on her face.

"Go to hell," Jared spat.

Dr Seeker frowned, but after a moment smoothed over her expression as if it was never there. "There's no need for that Jared," she said. "Myself and Dr Green are here to help."

"I don't see how you can help me," Jared retorted.

"Oh, I believe we can Jared Howe," Dr Seeker said. He suspected she used his full name to intimidate him. Instead it made him angry. "We're here to talk to you about Melanie Stryder."

At the mention of her name, Jared's blood ran cold, all traces of anger gone. His mind raced, trying to think of a reason as to why they'd bring her up. "What about her?" he asked.

"We can help her."

"She's dead," he said, the anger resurging. "And it's all  _your_ fault."

"She's not dead, Jared," Dr Seeker said. "As it turns out, Melanie is a very special girl."

"That's impossible," Jared replied. "You took out her  _heart_."

"People live without hearts all the time, Jared," Dr Seeker said and gestured to Dr Green, who began to tap at her tablet and then turned it around to show Jared.

"See? She's right there," Dr Green said.

Jared stared blankly at the image on the screen. On it, a girl slept in a bed, wires and tubes protruding from her body. There was no mistaking that this girl was Melanie. Jared knew her too well to see that this couldn't be anyone but her. She looked weaker than the last time he's seen her, but she was  _there_.

Part of him didn't want to believe it. After all of this, could it be that she  _wasn't_ dead after all? It was too much to hope for.

"She's still here, Jared, but not fully. There are certain procedures that need to be done before she can be conscious again."

"Why do you need me here to say that?" Shouldn't you be talking to her family?"

"We know where you've been Jared, and what you've done, and life can get a whole lot more difficult. Unless of course you're willing to help us here."

"You want me to tell you where they are," Jared said.

"Whatever you can tell us, Jared," Dr Seeker replied, though there was a certain edge to her voice that made Jared think she'd do anything to exact the truth out of him.

"I want to see her first," Jared said. "Really see her."

Dr Seeker smiled. "That can be arranged," she said and nodded to Dr Green. "Take him to the girl."

Dr Green nodded and gestured for Jared to follow her. He walked out the door with her, heart pounding in his chest. He tried to memorise the route, as if it might be useful for a future reference, but so many turns were made that his head spun trying to keep up.

"This place is huge," Jared muttered. He wondered if they were underground. After all, there were no windows here, just florescent lights on the ceiling and otherwise blank corridors, with the odd windowless door. He wondered if there were more people behind those doors – people who might be useful to the Soul Institute.

"This way," Dr Green said, and opened a door. "She's here."

Jared was almost afraid to step into the room, but somehow he found the clarity to put one foot in front of the other and soon enough, she was there.

Jared sunk to his knees.

"Mel," he whispered softly, trying to hold back the tears.

She was there, breathing as the machines dictated, but still right  _there_ in front of him.

He didn't want to look away from her.

"She'll be fine soon," Dr Green said.

Jared took a deep breath.  _I'm doing this for you_. "I'll talk."

 

* * *

When Jeb saw the news, he wasn't surprised. Of course they'd call  _him_  a terrorist. That was how people got anyone to do anything these days – call out a 'terrorist', get people scared enough so they'd come blabbing.

He didn't blame Wanda's parents for talking. They were doing what they thought they should to find their girl. More innocent people caught up in this damn mess.

Jeb only hoped they hadn't found Jared yet; god knows the kid could be a little too useful to them if they pushed in the right places. He only hoped that Jared was still out there, just sulking. If he wasn't, then everything Jeb had been working for might as well be nothing.

One thing was for sure though, he had to move fast – people  _needed_  to know the truth now, perhaps more than they ever did. The longer this went on, the more opportunities the Soul Institute got to twist everything their way.

He looked over at the picture of Melanie on his desk, feeling the familiar stab of regret. Mel was just another piece to them – something to eliminate without a thought as to the person they were hurting.

There was a knock at the door.

 _Just in time_ , Jeb thought. "Come in, kid," Jeb said.

"The news," Ian said. "They think  _terrorists_  took Wanda."

Jeb nodded. "We need to move faster."

Ian looked Jeb right in the eye. "Then tell me what I need to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes! I'm really back again. Life got completely crazy thanks to uni (I had a whole slew of assignments to finish that I really shouldn't have put off for so long, but i digress). But I'm on break now, so I have so much more time for writing and I promise I'll try to get at least another chapter out by the end of the week. 
> 
> So yeah, things are starting to get a little more intense in this fic. We're almost at the halfway point now, and so there's going to be a lot ahead (I keep saying that but there are a few scenes ahead that I'm really looking forward to writing). I'm sorry for all the Jared, but I need to get that exposition out of the way. I promise the next couple of chapters will be very Wanda/O'Wanda centric. 
> 
> Reviews/etc are always appreciated and enjoyed (I smile every time one of you even follows this fic. It means a lot).


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short recap for anyone who's struggling to remember because it's been so long: Jared has been kidnapped by the Soul Institute after running away to find Melanie's remains, only to find she's not quite as dead as first thought and Dr Seeker offers him Melanie, alive and well again, in exchange for information and he agreed. Jeb's crew is still on the lookout for him, believing he's just doing something typically reckless. Meanwhile, Wanda's dreams are getting more intense and she's starting to get closer to the truth of what Melanie had found out.

Not for the first time, Anna wondered if she’d made the right decision. At the time, she thought talking to the press would fix everything – if people knew, then maybe someone could tell her _something_. At least with the news about the terrorists, she could be sure they were getting somewhere. But it didn’t feel like enough, not now when she was lying in bed and looking up at the ceiling with her thoughts screaming in her head.

There was so much that changed now. Should she take Benjamin and run? Would hiding even solve anything?

“We did the right thing,” Benjamin said, as if sensing her worry.

“I just don’t know, Ben,” she replied. “They’re terrorists. Of all the people who could’ve taken her.”

“We’re doing what we can. If people see she’s got a family, people who love her, that’ll change things.”

“That’s what _they_ told us. Maybe they’re in on it, Ben. They could’ve taken her and made up this whole fuss about the terrorists,” Anna said.

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“It might. They’re big, right? What if their funding was cut, or something? They want people to love them, so this might get people to feel more sympathetic. That could be why the police aren’t involved yet.”

“You’re worrying too much.”

“I can’t help it. Something about this just doesn’t feel right, Ben. There’s something we’re missing here, I know it.”

“Maybe there is, but what can we do?”

“We’ll do _something_ ,” Anna said fiercely. She wasn’t going to give up without a fight. Her daughter’s life was at stake, and she’d rather be damned than let her daughter be hurt.

* * *

 

_“Hey, can you wake up for a second, Jamie?” Melanie asked and tapped her brother on the shoulder. He looked up at her sleepily._

_“Mel?” he asked, voice fuzzy with sleep. He looked so young and innocent like this, like none of the trouble they’d been through had happened. Her heart ached just looking at him, reminding her of just how much danger he’d be in if anyone found her._

_“Yeah, it’s me.”_

_“Do we need to leave?” he asked._

_“No, I just needed to give you something before I left.”_

_Jamie sat up, more alert than before. “What is it?” he asked._

_“Something important, for Uncle Jeb,” Melanie explained and handed him a USB from her pocket. “It’s got some important things on there he needs to see.”_

_“Are you going for good?” he asked, worried._

_“No, no, I’ll be right back,” Melanie promised, well aware it might not be one she could keep, though she’d do her best to try. Though if anyone actually found her, she’d be dead._

_“Alright,” Jamie said and curled his hand around the USB. “I’ll give it to Jeb.”_

_“You make sure it’s safe now though? Don’t tell anyone about it until they ask, okay?” Melanie said and made a note to send out a message to Jeb. She hadn’t contacted him yet, although she was aware of where he was. She’d lied to Jared before about knowing where Jeb was. She’d found him pretty easily once she started looking, but what she was doing here was so much more important. She’d meant to send Jamie off earlier, but he’d been safe with Jared and she needed to make sure Jeb hadn’t been compromised._

_“I will,” Jamie promised. He didn’t know the whole truth of what she was doing, but he knew she was doing_ something _. She couldn’t tell him everything – he was too young to know that. But she could make sure he was safe._

_“Thanks,” she said and gave him a hug. “I need to go, but I’ll be back, so don’t let Jared know, okay? He’ll worry.”_

_Jamie nodded, and Melanie left the room, heart beating fast in her chest. She hoped she’d be back sooner rather than later._

* * *

 

When Wanda woke up, the only thing she could think about was seeing Jamie. Suddenly, it was a desperate necessity, especially now she had that memory of that USB in her mind. If Jamie still had it, then it was worth so much to their cause.

Ian arrived later, turning up with breakfast.

“Hey,” he said when he walked into the room.

“Hi,” she replied. “I need to see Jeb.”

Ian looked worried. “About what.”

“A memory,” Wanda replied. “About Jamie.”

“What about him?”

“I should tell Jeb first,” Wanda said. “Let’s go.”

“Now?” he asked, surprised.

“Yes, I need to. This is important.”

“Then let’s go,” Ian replied and Wanda got up off the bed, moving easier than before. She’d been taking walks around, moving more and more every day. Walking was a lot easier now, and she hoped that sometime soon she’d be able to move without feeling so tired.

They found Jeb in the library, sitting in front of a pile of papers, scribbling away.

“Jeb?” Ian asked, and the man himself looked up. 

“What is it?”

“I had another dream,” Wanda said. “About Jamie.”

Jeb seemed surprised. “What about him?”

“Melanie…gave him something,” Wanda said. “Information.”

“He never said anything about that to us,” Jeb replied.

“She told him not to,” Wanda explained. “She was going to tell you about it, then he’d give it to you when you asked.”

“Then we should go, but not today,” Jeb replied.

“I don’t know if I should,” Wanda admitted. “I doubt he’d be all that friendly towards me.”

She’d thought all about this a hundred times before, in the quiet of her room, but couldn’t bring herself to really ask about it. She knew he was safe and with family, but anything beyond that felt almost like a violation. She’d already put herself into too much of Melanie’s life, that it felt almost wrong to do this. Jamie was Melanie’s brother, not hers. She wasn’t the one who’d helped him escape from danger, protected him at all costs. That wasn’t her life. Wanda’s life was lying in bed sick, watching television and until now, waiting to die.

“He’d want to see you,” Jeb replied. “We’ll go later.”

“If you’re sure,” Wanda said. She wasn’t sure about it, but she’d come to trust Jeb’s judgement, or maybe that was some leftover from Melanie too.

“I’m sure,” Jeb said firmly. “We’ll head out later.”

After a quick goodbye, Wanda and Jared walked back to her room. They walked closely together, hands brushing against each other. It was nice.

“I don’t understand how Jeb can be so sure about this,” Wanda said as they moved back.

“He knows what he’s doing,” Ian replied. “But you’re right. It is a kind of strange situation here.”

“I feel terrible about it,” Wanda said. “I’m only here because she’s dead.”

“You know that’s not true,” Ian said.

“But it is. You know it, I know it, and so does everyone else,” Wanda said. “It’s why they don’t like me. They look at me and see her ghost.”

“You’re not the same person,” Ian said.

“But it feels like it, sometimes,” Wanda said. “I wake up, and sometimes I _am_ her. I’m Melanie. I have a whole other life in here, and it’s hard to forget. Maybe Jared was right. I could be a replacement.”

Ian stopped then. “No, you said it before – you’re not her. You’re an entirely different person. Sure, maybe Melanie has changed you, but you’re still you.”

“Doesn’t always feel like it.”

“I’m not saying it’s easy,” Ian said. “There’s a lot we don’t know about all of this. Maybe it’s just a side effect.”

“I wish I had your confidence,” Wanda said.

“It’s alright to be unsure,” Ian said. “This is strange for all of us.”

“I wish I knew someone else who’d had this happen to them,” Wanda said. “But I feel like this might be a unique situation.”

“That’s putting it lightly,” Ian said with a wry smile. “You’re one of a kind, Wanda.”

* * *

 

After pouring through file after file, Dr Seeker finally had her security team. It had been a long effort, picking out every member of the team by hand, but she needed to be sure they would be effective. If a single person wouldn’t perform to the best of their abilities, the whole mission would be a failure. And there was no way she was going to let that happen. 

The boy was ready to talk, and it would only be a matter of time before he’d spill everything. He loved that girl too much – the chance to see her whole again was too much of a temptation and he’d taken the bait. Of course, she did intent to fulfil her promise to him – it was fair, after all.

After she made a few calls, the entire team sat in front of her, looking curious about their mission. A few looked bored, jaded even. Not all of them had been in this for a long time, but all of them had perfect results – they went in, did the job, and delivered results.

“You’re here for a very important purpose,” Dr Seeker explained. “I’m sure you’ve heard about the Reyes case, with that poor girl.”

The whole team was suddenly extremely interested.

“I want you to find her,” Dr seeker said. “We have an informant, who’s willing to talk, and you’ll all be there for it, but first, you need to sign this. A non-disclosure agreement that will highlight just how seriously this mission is to be taken.”

Her assistant then passed out a set of papers to every person at the table. Dr Seeker waited patiently as they scanned the document.

“This is serious stuff,” one of the team said, a short man with a balding head.

“As I said, this is not something we’re taking lightly. What we’ll have to show you, what you will see, is classified information, and we can’t risk a leak. In doing so, it could jeopardise our entire mission.”

“How far do you need us to go?” A woman with bright blue eyes said.

“As far as necessary,” Dr Seeker replied. “Kill, if you need to. You will not face retribution for this act, but be careful.”

The team looked a little wary. “Are you sure?”

“Don’t question me,” she said. “They’re a threat to all of us. If they can take a girl out of her hospital bed like this, then what’s to say they’ll stop there?”

Nobody protested after that.

“Now that we’re clear on this, I want to remind you that you’re all here for a reason. I don’t want to be disappointed by the results,” Dr Seeker said. She wouldn’t – couldn’t – tolerate failure on this. She needed that girl back, and Jeb’s people bought down. They’d already caused enough trouble, and if allowed to be free, they’d do more. 

And there was no way she was going to let anything compromise all she’d worked for.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this has taken an embarrassingly long time to get done. Life happened, is really all I can say (idk, if you're into the whole tumblr thing, you can find me over there pretty much all the time at bluesargently). 
> 
> But in terms of fic, we're finally at the official halfway point, which is exciting. And almost two years since I started this (which is also weird thought)


	18. Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick reminder of where we're at in case you've forgotten: Wanda's remembered that Melanie gave Jamie something that has some important info on it. They're going to see him to get it back. Jared's still missing, and about to talk in order to save Melanie's life (who, turns out, isn't as dead as everyone thought).

Wanda was sure her currently racing pulse couldn't be good for her, but it wasn't like she could help it. She was going to meet Jamie. Jamie, who had no idea who she was, but yet she knew almost everything about him. It was a strange thought, and it nagged at her the whole way there.

When the finally arrived, her heart felt just about ready to burst out of her chest. She wasn't ready. It was a terrible idea, and she'd be better off to just leave.

"We're here," Jeb said, pulling Wanda back into reality.

"You ready?" Ian asked from beside her. She'd wanted him to come with her, if only for support. She needed a friend, and Ian was probably the only one she had. Initially, she'd felt a little awkward asking him, especially since he should be out there looking for Jared, but Ian had given her a firm 'Yes' and assured her it was fine.

"I'm ready," Wanda replied, and let Ian help her out of the car, if only to put off getting out.

The house they'd come to was one almost on the other side of town, and totally ordinary and suburban. Nothing about it was familiar, not in Wanda's own life, or Melanie's memories. It was a nice place, one storey with a low brick fence and roses out the front.

Wanda allowed herself to relax a little, but grabbed Ian's hand for support.

"It'll be fine," Ian reassured her as they walked to the door, trailing behind Jeb who moved carefully towards the door and knocked. The door opened, and out of it appeared an older woman with a lined face and grey hair. _Aunt Maggie_ , Melanie's memories supplied.

"You're here," Maggie said, looking at Jeb.

"I bought guests," Jeb replied and gestured to Ian and Wanda.

Maggie gave Ian a smile, but regarded Wanda warily. Wanda wondered what exactly Jeb had told the old woman about her.

"This is Wanda, huh?" Maggie said.

"She's here to see Jamie."

Maggie frowned. "You didn't tell me that."

"You would've refused if I told you on the phone."

"I'm not letting her near him," Maggie said flatly. Wanda's heart sank. All the memories Melanie had of aunt Maggie were good ones and didn't match up at all to the woman that was facing Wanda now.

"She's just a girl," Jeb replied.

Maggie scoffed. "She's one of _them_. Jamie doesn't need to see her."

Jeb sighed. "Magnolia, it's important," he said seriously.

Maggie frowned. "Fine," she said. "Five minutes, then she's gone."

Jeb nodded, and then Maggie let them in. Wanda walked in carefully, trying not to give Maggie any more reasons to dislike her.

Once inside, Maggie led them to a room with no windows, but a floral couch and a short coffee table. Jeb sat down first, leaving Ian in the middle and Wanda on the end. She lent a little against Ian, who wrapped an arm around her. She was glad for the contact and support.

"You don't need to put on a show, Maggie," Jeb said. Maggie just shot Jeb a stern look and walked out of the room. Wanda suddenly felt awful – this rift between Jeb and his sister was probably because of her.

"Jeb!" a child's voice said excitedly and Wanda felt her own heart leap at the sound. She knew this voice, or some part of her did. This was Jamie. She looked up and there he was – the young bright-eyed boy she'd seen in so many of Melanie's memories.

Before she knew what she was doing, Wanda was sobbing. Ian hugged her harder, and she pressed her face into his chest, embarrassed by the emotions she was feeling.

"Are you okay?" Jamie said after a moment. She felt his hand on her arm.

Wanda took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment to compose herself. "I'm fine," she replied. "Just – well. I never thought I'd meet you."

"You knew my sister," Jamie said warily.

"I – you could say that," Wanda said, and then turned to Jeb. "Can we have a minute alone?"

"Maggie?" Jeb asked.

Maggie shook her head. "I'm not leaving _her_ alone with Jamie."

"It's okay," Jamie said. "I trust her."

Maggie frowned. "You don't know her."

"She knew Melanie. Melanie didn't trust just anyone," Jamie argued. "I want to talk to her."

"Do you know what happened to your sister?" Wanda asked.

Jamie shook his head. "Nobody knows. But you have her heart."

Wanda closed her eyes. "I do," she said, unable to look at Jamie's face.

"Did you want to hurt her?"

Wanda's eyes flew open. "No, of course not. I didn't know who she was before I got her heart."

"Why did you get it?"

"I was dying," Wanda said. "The doctors found a match – or so I thought. I didn't know who it was from, but then I started to…remember things, but they weren't from my own life."

Jamie's eyes widened. "You're psychic?"

"I—I don't think so," Wanda said. "I don't know where these memories have come from, but I know I'd be dead without this heart."

"It's true," Ian added. "I worked in the hospital Wanda was in."

Jamie nodded seriously. "She's dead, isn't she?"

Wanda nodded. "I'm sorry."

Jamie looks sad. "But you're okay?"

"I'm better than I was, but I remembered something recently. Something Melanie gave you."

"Prove it," Jamie said.

Wanda closed her eyes, trying to think of a memory that meant something to Jamie. "It was your idea to sleep on stranger's couches. You weren't serious, but it saved both of you."

Jamie blinked. "You're her."

Wanda shook her head. "I just know her better than anyone," she replied. "And I need what she gave you back."

Jamie nodded seriously. "It's in my bedroom."

"What is, Jamie?" Maggie asked. She shot an angry glance at Wanda. She tried to ignore the gesture, though it still hurt. Maggie had always been so nice to Melanie, fiercely protective

"Melanie gave it to me. Before she left," Jamie replied. "I need to give it back now."

"You should've told us about it before," Jeb said. "If it's that important."

"She told me not to say unless someone asked," Jamie replied. "And Wanda asked."

Maggie didn't look happy about any of this. "I don't like it," she said. "This could be a trap."

"I'm not here to hurt anyone," Wanda shot back, suddenly angry. What right did Maggie have to treat her like this – she didn't know her, and it wasn't like Jeb didn't trust her. Surely that meant something?

Maggie didn't reply to that. "Jamie, go get what Melanie gave you."

Jamie nodded and darted out of the room.

"I don't like this," Maggie said to Jeb.

"It's real, Maggie, and it's not the girl's fault. You know who's at fault here."

"I don't like any of this," Maggie replied sharply.

"You don't have to," Jeb said, and opened his mouth to say something else, but Jamie came back into the room.

"I have it," he said excitedly to Wanda, holding out the USB stick to her. Wanda smiled and took it.

"I'll take care of it," she promised seriously. Jamie nodded in response and hesitated a second before throwing his arms around her in a tight embrace. It was a little awkward, with Ian's arm still sort of around her shoulders, but Jamie was clinging on anyway. "You're not bad, Wanda."

Wanda felt tears well up. "I'm sorry about your sister."

"I knew she wasn't coming back," Jamie said. "I'm not mad at you."

* * *

 

"Do you know what's on there?" Jeb asked when they got back. Wanda shook her head.

"No, but I know it's important. Melanie knew she had to keep it safe," she replied.

"It's definitely important," Ian said. "You know Mel – she wouldn't have gone to so much trouble if she didn't want to make sure this got to the right people."

Jeb nodded. "Whatever's on here, we're going to need to move fast. There's not much we can do here, just sitting around. This might change things."

"I hope it is something," Wanda said, though she knew in her gut it had to be important. It was frustrating, that whatever memories of what exactly Melanie knew eluded her. Sure, she knew fragments of the whole picture, but not enough. She wanted to help, prove herself more than just a girl with a stolen heart. Maybe this was it – the chance to do something good for everyone.

"I'm sure it will be," Jeb said. "Oh, and Wanda, there's something you should know."

Wanda felt a sudden swoop of panic. "What?" she asked.

"Your parents," Jeb began. "It was on the news the other night – your parents have been talking to the media. Saying you've been kidnapped."

"That's not far off from the truth," Wanda said. "I mean, not that I don't want to be here now, but that's what happened."

"Not the way they're telling it," Jeb said. "They're calling us terrorists, and any day now, someone's going to do something that will make them fear the worst."

"Who will?"

"Probably the Soul Institute themselves – they've clearly been planning this whole thing from the start and it wouldn't surprise me if they found some way to make us all look bad."

"Could I talk to them – my parents, I mean," Wanda asked. "Maybe if I explained things, they'd understand."

Jeb shook his head. "They won't."

"Whatever the Soul Institute has told them, they're going to believe it," Ian replied. "Remember, to them that place are the reason their kid is alive."

Wanda looked away. She didn't want to think that of her parents – that they'd be so gullible and blind, but hadn't she been, not so long ago? She hadn't even known the depths of how awful the Soul Institute had been.

"I just want them to know I'm okay," Wanda replied. "They've worried about me for too long."

"We'll figure something out soon," Ian reassured her. "But for now, we're going to have to let them speculate."

"I don't like it."

"None of this is fair," Jeb said. "I'm sorry it has to be this way, but that's all we can do for now."

"I wish there was some other way," Wanda said. "I don't want to keep secrets."

"We'll make sure they know as soon as it's safe," Ian promised, and shot Jeb a meaningful look.

"We'll do what we can," Jeb said.

Suddenly, Ian's phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket and frowned at the message on the screen. "I need to get going."

"Who'd you find?"

"Someone on the inside – they've got information about Jared, or someone like him," Ian replied.

Wanda felt a strange sort of flutter at the mention of Jared. "Is he okay? Did they take him?"

Ian shook his head. "I don't know yet. I need to go, but I'll tell you later, okay?"

"Just tell me when you know," Wanda said.

* * *

 

Parker was down to his last cigarette by the time Ian arrived. He was nervous as hell, and the smoke helped him relax. If anyone found out about tonight, he'd be dead meat, but he'd seen that boy in there and knew he couldn't just let that happen. Somebody had to so something, and he guessed that burden had been placed on him.

"Oh good, you're still here," Ian said. "I was worried I was too late."

"I was about to leave before you showed up," Parker admitted.

"What do you know?"

"I know they've got him."

Ian swore. "Are you sure it's him?"

"Couldn't be anyone else – I heard them talking. They must've got something over him, if they're keeping him in there."

"Jared's a loose canon. There's a lot they could have," Ian said.

"They'll make him talk, if he hasn't already," Parker said. "You know they always get what they want, in the end."

"I'm not going to let that happen. Where is he?" Ian asked. There was a spark of anger in his eyes – something Parker used to see in the mirror himself. But times had changed, and he'd learned that fire only ever got people so far before it burned everything down. You needed to learn to lie low – Ian had been good at that, but he was still young.

"Nowhere you're getting in easy," Parker warned.

"I still need to know. If they're as close to getting what they want as you think, then we need to move fast."

Parker sighed. "Fine, but you're buying me my next pack," he said and held up the empty cigarette box.

* * *

 

Dr Greene didn't know what exactly it was about the girl that made her so important to Jared, but there was a connection that Dr Seeker was determined to exploit.

She wanted to ask about it, to figure out exactly why Melanie Stryder made Jared Howe tick. They were probably lovers, with the way he'd looked at the video feed of the girl that she'd shown him.

Not for the first time, Dr Greene felt a sense of shame at her job in all of this. Who was she, to help this machine along? The normal mantra of _I'm helping people_ wasn't holding fast anymore. As a doctor, she'd taken an oath to protect and care for people.

But maybe this wasn't what that meant. She'd had a hand in all of this damage – that desperate look in Jared's eyes when he saw Melanie lying there, barely alive. He looked desperate to have her back, like he'd tear apart the universe for it.

That was a dangerous feeling, and she'd let it fester in him. Maybe she hadn't been the one to operate on Melanie in the first place, but here she was, dangling her life like a carrot on a stick for him. It didn't feel right, but it was her job.

Dr Seeker had done so much, created an entirely better world at the expense of a few others. A few lives here and there for everyone else. It wasn't so bad, she used to tell herself, ignoring any and every detail that told her too much about what was going on behind closed doors.

It was all supposed to help people – that's why she'd gotten involved. The Soul Institute promised better, a world where people didn't have to worry or be afraid. Organ donors were everywhere, and people were never left to die because they couldn't help. She'd seen so many patients saved because of the Host program. So many people who were alive right now that might not have been because of this.

But maybe it wasn't like that anymore. Now, she couldn't deny it as easily as before – there was too much evidence now. Because of Wanda, that one girl who started seeing too much, she was deeper into this mess than she might have liked.

 _I'm about to raise the dead so we'll know how to kill more people,_ she thought hysterically. That's what this was, really. They might have been keeping Melanie from a true death, but the girl certainly wasn't _alive_ now.

And now she was about to fix that. And for what, really? Dr Greene wasn't stupid – she knew how this would end, and it would not be with lives saved.

It was just a question of if she was going to do it. Could she?

She thought of Dr Seeker, and all the things that woman had done.

 _I guess I don't have a choice_ , Dr Green thought, stomach sinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. here we are again, an embarrassing amount of time later between updates. I've written so much since then for other things (fun fact I wrote a 60k fic in like two months and basically gave myself carpel tunnel during that time) and Life has happened in a bunch of new and exciting ways. 
> 
> But yeah, here we are and getting into more of the good stuff. I've made it a personal goal to get at least three or four more chapters done before the end of August, and I'm on a bit of a roll now so maybe that means I'll get more done before the end of the week. Who knows, but I'm gonna at least try. 
> 
> find me on tumblr @ agentalien if you're into that sort of thing. 
> 
> Up next: important discussions of emotions, Jared making (more) terrible decisions and a revelation.


End file.
